A Majorly Oversharing Blog Rant

All day today I've had a stupid song from Bye Bye Birdie running through my head.

"How lovely to be a woman,
The wait was well worth while;
How lovely to wear mascara
And smile a woman's smile.
How lovely to have a figure,
That's round instead of flat;
Whenever you hear boys whistle,
You're what they're whistling at."

Blech! Boys never whistled at me. Barked, maybe mooed, but whistled? Never.

Anyway, I've determined either the person who wrote this piece of crap must have been doing way too many drugs (it was the 60's afterall) or it must have been written by a man.

Hey, whadd'ya know. Lyrics by Lee Adams. Figures.

In any case, you might be wondering why this particular song is my mental soundtrack for the day. The answer should be obvious. Obviously it's not so great to be a woman like me right now.

I can sing the praises of Seasonale all day long. It's truly a great thing to go for months without the hassle of womandom. But when it comes, it comes with a vengence. I don't know if it's just me (I've always had a pretty rough time in this area) but it just seems kind of ridiculous sometimes. I'd like to add a couple verses to the aforementioned song, detailing the not-so-nice details of being a woman. They forgot to mention the week-long entire body ache. And the craving for salt even though you know if you eat it you'll retain water like Spongebob. I won't even go into the more obvious unpleasantries. Ugh. Menopause will not come soon enough in my opinion.

I was so pissed when I "became a woman" at the (relatively) young age of 12. It's been a monthly hell ever since. I actually had to stay home from school quite a few times because I could not move due to blinding cramping. I know I scared my dad at least once because of this. I also threw up in science class once because of it (on my birthday to boot!) It's just a miserable part of life. But this is why I'm so happy to avoid it 2 out of 3 months. Supposedly this Seasonale stuff is supposed to make it lighter as well but I'd beg to differ.

Anyways, I'll welcome the break that comes with pregnancy and I'll be so happy when the hot flashes I get are because I'm "going through the change." I do find it interesting how one's attitude towards this changes though. I was never really looking forward to it, but I'll tell you there were some times I was so happy to see it.

With that oversharing, I'll end this entire post of oversharing. Chalk it up to PMS...