Thursday, July 31, 2003

July 2003

Thursday, July 3, 2003

Well, less than 24 hours. :-) Yahoo! And after these last couple days, I sure as hell need a vacation. Sigh. I left Berlin last night. Stayed at Kim's last night since Becky decided to move the futon (and everything else in the house) last night so I basically had to leave as well. Pfft. Bitch. Glad to be out of there. So tonight I get to run around like a chicken with its head cut off, trying to get all the loose ends tied up before I hop on a plane and leave my life for a month and a half. Woo! It's great! I can't wait!
Now if only this ear/throat infection/irritation would go away...grrrrr....
Today at work was just much to get done and I also want to leave a little early so I can get some traveler's checks.'s fun. Poor Eric...:-) Well anyways. That's about all I've got to say. Next entry will be from la France...oui oui. Peut etre en francais aussi...c'est chouette, hein? Je sais que tous les personnes qui lisent cette page ne parle pas le francais, mais c'est MON site du web et je peux faire ce que je voulais...heh heh heh. Ca, c'est tout.

Monday, June 30. 2003

Good god...
I don't even know where to start. I don't even know if I want to try and revamp this past weekend. Fucking craziness. Makes me want to scream. Ok. Here goes.
So, this being my last weekend here for a while, I had made plans to spend Friday and Saturday evenings (after I was done at work) with John. He was supposed to call me Friday sometime. No surprises when the day went by and I heard nothing. No answer when I called. Ok then. So I went back to Berlin and went to bed. Woke up around 10 and as soon as my "roommate" got up, I left. Hung out at K-Mart for an hour and a half before punching in and working. Once again, no answer at John's when I called. This ticked me off more than a bit. So I called David up. When he answered his phone, I just couldn't bring myself to take the South Park exit to go to Berlin. So I kept driving and wound up in Sheboygan. I informed him of this and we met up and went to a bar for a little while. That was fun. Then I got back on the road around 2:30. This is where the fun begins. First of all, it was freakin' foggy as hell. Could barely see anything. At least there was no one else on the road to speak of. So that royally sucked. On 41, not too far from FDL, something (who knows what) darted out in front of me. Tha-thunk. Ooops. Must have been a pretty big something because my front bumper plastic crap there is torn to pieces and just kind of hanging there. Sigh. Then, practically the second I got onto 91, it started to torrentially downpour, adding to the impossible driving. I was kind of glad for this because if any blood or such from that roadkill incident had gotten on my car, this rain would get rid of it. I finally got into Berlin and back to the house around 4:30. Then I hopped in bed. I was awoken at about 10 AM by a big bang, thunk. And laughter. Apparently Becky had decided that this was a good time to be moving stuff. Ok then. When she left, I got up, showered, and once again hung out at work until I punched in.
Now, remember how I was supposed to be with John both Friday and Saturday nights? Now, being slightly ticked at the fact that he had apparently stood me up, I drove out to Neenah after work. I called him as I got off the highway to make sure he was there. He was, and as he said his dumb "hi, how are you" I knocked on his door and went into his room. There we proceeded to have an incredibly frustrating conversation which eventually turned into one of the best, most valuable conversations we've ever had. Although the fact that he was constantly trying to touch me wasn't helping. He was (and is) in no way forgiven or whatever for being a completely inconsiderate bastard. But it was nice that he finally talked to me about some things. Even so, John. You have to earn things yet. You're far, far, far away from being out of the woods.
So I stayed over by his house until 5 AM. Then I headed back to Berlin to shower and then I hopped back in the car and came up here to work. Trust me, I considered going to work straight from his house so I could sleep longer (Neenah is like 15 minutes from where I work) but I didn't want to come here are scrubby and nasty. So 45 minutes to Berlin and then an hour back here to Appleton. Berlin sucks ass. I saw some nasty hick with a freakin' cooler for a lunch box standing on the street this morning. I don't know what he was waiting for. I don't think Berlin has a bus system. Maybe the milkman swings by on his way to his second job shoveling cow shit and gives the boy a ride to his basket-weaving job. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
Counting the days. It's at 3.

Friday, June 27, 2003

Well we sign the lease on Tuesday. Yay! "Everything's going so well!" Har har. We'll see if this weekend turns out to be as horrible as I expect it to be. Aren't I Miss Merry Sunshine. Maybe if I had a better attitude, my life would be less messed up.
Nah. I doubt it.
I got my plane tickets and luggage yesterday so after I move all my crap and pack, I'm all set. Other then those two things, there's not really much going on. Finding a house and finding a way to get out of the country was kind of all consuming lately. :-) John,'d better call me later. You don't want to see me ticked off at you right before I leave, now do you?

Wednesday, June 25, 2003

Alrighty then. Life is never dull. That sucks. I want a boring life dammit. So, I leave the country in 9 days and this past week has just been a mess. Living with such certainty is great...not. Yesterday I went out with a friend on a whim and we got an apartment. Woo. August 1st it's ours (although, of course, I won't be back until the 9th.) So I'll be back up and running online all the time during the week after I return. Yay. Nothing like crappy people to make you all motivated to do what you really wanted to do in the first place. Needless to say, things have not gone well out in Berlin and I'll be moving my stuff to a different location before I leave. In the end, I think things have worked out pretty well though. Yay. We will be having an "apartment warming" party sometime in late August. E-Mail me for the address and date later. :-)

Friday, June 20, 2003

Ok, this merits 2 entries in one day. I work in an office environment. Yes, I even have a cube. How Dilbert. For about the last 45 minutes, people have been e-mailing back and forth practically the entire company. This is a big thing...since the "Company" is a conglomoration of lots of other companies and we all have the same e-mail system. Lots of people. Apparently someone hit "reply to all" on some mass e-mail from the IT people, and now everyone is replying to all. Every 2 seconds there's a new e-mail. "You've got the wrong one." was first. Then "Quit replying to all. Just reply to the sender." Then it was "I don't know you people. WHO ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU E-MAILING ME?" Then came "Quit doing this. Stop it." Then it was "Ooh, this is entertaining. Who cares about the e-mail outage, let's go get drunk and celebrate." (I kid you not.) Then the people who were actually trying to work started getting hostile. "STOP SENDING E-MAILS. YOU'RE FILLING MY INBOX WITH UNNECESSARY CLUTTER." Then there were those who apparently had nothing better to do and said things like "Who wants a pint?" or "This is better than a soap opera." About thirty seconds ago, the Security Operator sent out an e-mail telling people to cut it out. I've received at least 10 e-mails since that. Some are "This is an entertaining Friday afternoon." One boasted that the sender was from Texas and he claims that things definately are bigger there. One suggested we send an e-mail to everyone in the US...oh wait! We already did... Others are progressively more hostile, telling people to get a life and get back to work. Aaah, another fun and exciting day at the office. :-)
Two weeks from now I'll be on an airplane. Woo! Now I just need to find some luggage somewhere...and I need to get the plane tickets. Supposedly they're sending them to me. Hrmmmph. Haven't gotten them yet. I'll give them a few more days and then I'll call...paranoia is great.
I had a "sigh" experience a few days ago. Now, 91 is not exactly the greatest road in the first place and lately it's been the deathbed of a lot (and I mean A LOT) of poor animals. And these animals can't die all gracefully and crawl to the side of the road and be neat about it. No...not this roadkill. These animals insist on being splattered across the highway, blood and guts all over the place. It's lovely. Nothing I'd rather see at 7 AM then the insides of a raccoon...YUCK!
Anyways, that's not the sigh part. I was driving home from work on Tuesday night. Now this drive sucks in and of itself because there are too many people on the highway at 10 PM. And they all drive slow. And they can't seem to remember how to turn off their high beams once they're on. Grrrr. Anyways, I'm driving, minding my own business and I see this enormous bug come towards my windshield. Ugh. I swear I could hear the *splat* as its guts were spewed onto my windshield. Left quite a puddle. To make things worse, it was totally right in my line of vision, so I had to look at the blob of bugs guts for 20 minutes. To make things worse yet, my windshield washer stuff doesn't work, so I couldn't try and power wash it off if I wanted to. I was stuck staring at the insides of the insect. And the final horrible detail is that every time a car came in the oncoming lane, the bug remains seemed to glow in their headlights. Ugh. That's so gross. It was quite distracting. Just makes you go "sigh." Driving sucks.
Don't even get me started on the retarded Berlin drivers. Just don't go there.
And don't get me started on the inconsiderate people of the world who don't know what it's like to have to get up at 6 AM to drive an hour to be at work by 8 AM and therefore don't really want to go out until 11:30 PM the night before and then have people talking and laughing outside their bedroom until 5 AM...NOT COOL. Going out just made me freaking crabby in the first place. That initial crabbiness with this new dying of tiredness will make me a joy to be around today, I'm sure. But I don't really care. I don't know why I even went with them. I was bored and would have rather been back in Berlin with my Dilbert book. People suck. Especially stupid, superficial people.

Wednesday, June 11, 2003

Moving sucked. Then there was the partying that followed. That didn't suck so much. Then there was the being sick for the rest of the weekend. That sucked. Aah, the rollercoaster of life. I don't even know what day it was. I had to look at the calendar and think too damn hard in order to get that heading right. Sigh. I'm back to my boring "I never do anything because I work 70 hours a week" life. Woo! And it doesn't help that no one calls me or e-mails me. So, even when I DO have free time with nothing else to do, I've just sat at home reading or zoning. I should be sleeping during those precious few hours of "me" time. Oh well. I'll sleep later. Sleep is overrated anyways. Why else would there be coffee and chocolate?
Sometimes I sit back and look at my life in a kind of objective way. I often ask myself, "How is this my life? What the hell happened?" This mainly depends on my mood though. Sometimes I'll be thinking, "Hey, life is pretty good. I'm lucky I have a good job and all these wonderful opportunities. I'm so blessed. Blah blah blah." On the other hand, sometimes I'll be thinking, "Damn, this sucks. I think I'll jump in front of a speeding Mack truck on the highway." Just kidding. If I were going to kill myself, I'd do it in a much less painful way - like overdosing on sleeping pills...or maybe something that makes me bleed a lot. I like seeing myself bleed. (Yee haw! There's a sadist in all of us...or is it a masochist. I don't know...I'm not a freak like you people are...)
By the way - my grades are in so I've updated my education section. I did pretty well this semester. Satisfactory, let's say. Sure, I could always do better but I think I've finally realized that it's better to do the best you can without stressing yourself out. I don't need to be perfect. It's not worth the effort. I tried all during high school to be perfect, mainly to compete with my siblings. But it's just not worth it anymore. Here I am, working my ass off to pay my own way through college since no one thought I was good enough to give money to. So why should I bust my ass even more to be overachieving when I do just fine with normal effort put forth? I won't complain if someone wants to hand me a few thousand dollars every semester though...I think a cumulative GPA of 3.8 after 3 years in college is pretty fucking good. Oh well. Life isn't fair. There will always be those who can drift through life on others. They suck.

Thursday, June 5, 2003

I have to move tomorrow. It's gonna be rough with no one to help me. I got spoiled last year. :-) This summer will be interesting. Should be fun though. Although I'm sure going to miss the internet. Call me or e-mail to keep in touch people. Also keep up with this site for news. Hopefully I'll be creating a special area for my France trip in the near future. Sigh. I got a monster cold sometime yesterday and I've just been feeling like crap. Why now? Makes no sense.
I need a man. But I've been instructed not to associate with any of the guys in Berlin. Probably wouldn't anyway. Damn hicks. (Hope none of y'all are offended by that. Oh wait a minute...I don't really care. Eat shit. LoL.) Why hasn't the Nyquil kicked in yet dammit. How am I supposed to sleep with a nose full of crap? Grrrrrr. My body hates me.
I mean it, people. Keep in touch. I don't want a boring ass summer. I have most Friday nights off, so that's your best bet to get in touch with me. SO DO IT!!!
Hopefully in the fall I'll be reconnected 24/7...See ya then.