Well it’s T minus one week until our next attempt at camping. So far the weather looks like it should be decent. According to weather.com, all three days should be sunny and warm. We’ll see about that. With my luck, hurricane Denis will decide to tough it out over dry and land come all the way up to Green Bay and rage around the peninsula while we’re in a tent. *sigh* LoL. Just kidding. There are a few changes that have been made since our last trip. Hopefully they’ll make the whole experience a bit better although I maintain that the reason it was so bad was because the weather sucked.
First of all, we bought a new tent (well, Adam did.) It’s bigger/taller than the other one and is brand new and should therefore be hole-free. Apparently the tent he had had a few teeny holes in the door that let the water come in a bit when it was torrentially downpouring all night. So we’ll see how this new one works out. Hopefully it’s as easy to put up as the other one was.
Secondly, we bought an air mattress. True, we did actually buy this during the last attempt but we didn’t really use it since we kind of packed up and left in the middle of the afternoon. It’s a queen size one that just barely fit in the other tent. It was relatively comfortable but I have a sneaking suspicion it will lead to some problems. The main one is the fact that Adam tends to toss and turn a lot during the night. Normally this is just an annoyance, but nothing I can’t handle. With this air mattress I fear that his tossing could send me flying into the side of the tent. We’ll see what happens I guess. If all else fails I suppose I could strap him down somehow so he can’t move. Hmm. Now there’s an idea. Heh heh.
Anyway, thirdly, we bought a propane camp stove rather than hauling a charcoal grill around. It takes up less space and is more reliable and faster. Adam has also decided to buy fire-starting thingys at Menards so hopefully we have more luck with the fire this time.
Lastly, we also bought an inflatable loveseat. Stupid, I know, but it was so cute it was just irresistible.
At this point it looks like it will just be us two. Catherine and Tony seem to have gotten very busy lives at the moment so we’re hoping to do something with them at another time. I’m fine with this arrangement. It will give Adam and I more time together in the great outdoors. Woo. (No really, that was a serious “woo”.)
In other news, I recently gave into my desires and splurged and bought all six seasons of Sex in the City. It cost me a pretty penny, but I seemed to have a lot of money sitting around (as Adam well knows since I apparently kept telling him how I had a lot of money and he finally got fed up with me and told me to spend the damn money on the DVDs that I’d been talking about getting for months) So I’ve been spending a few hours each day watching a few episodes. I just started season four yesterday night. It’s such a good show. Even Adam likes it and has agreed to watch episodes with me. I find that interesting. That’s really the only big ticket item I’ve bought lately. Oh wait – I also bought a new hard drive. Yeah, go figure that the only part that was reused from my old computer would die 6 months after the new one was built. *sigh* So I lost everything again. Luckily I hadn’t really built up the kind of stash I had had the first time. Most pictures I had uploaded to photobucket anyway. It’s just a matter of rebuilding my Money files and trying to remember everyone’s addresses. I think I saved most the e-mails from February so hopefully I’ll be able to recreate that file as well. I’m crossing my fingers that this hard drive won’t spontaneously erase itself, but who knows. My track record isn’t too hot.
I’ve been keeping busy at work and have been to one of the summer board meetings for IMA. It’s interesting to see the inner workings of the group. It’s much different than I would have expected. It still appears that I will have a lot of fun and meet a lot of interesting people. Hopefully my previous bad luck with organizations won’t rub off onto this one. There’s really not a lot of travel ahead for me. I know I’ll be heading up to Denmark for a day or so later on this month to do internal audit testing up there and I need to get out to New London to do a fixed asset physical sometime this summer but that’s about it.
About two weeks ago Adam and I submitted an application for an apartment out in a complex in Neenah. My lease isn’t up until October, but we were being proactive and liked the place so much we wanted to get their attention as soon as possible. They have a two month notification period so we should know if something we want opens up by August sometime. Luckily my apartment complex has only a one month notification requirement so there should be no overlap. Assuming something opens up in August, that is. My lease also has a “you can’t move out in November-February” clause it in so hopefully something opens up or we’ll have to wait until March. Not that that would be a tragedy or anything. It’s just that there are so many things about my apartment that are bugging me lately. The place we’d be moving to is a much nicer area and they’re much nicer apartments. They have a garage, a dishwasher, and a washer and dryer in the apartment itself. How awesome is that? The kitchen is huge with lots of cabinets and counter space. It will be a lot of fun. My apartment seems to be falling apart a little bit at a time. The bathroom is the worst hit. The toilet seat totally broke last weekend and had to be replaced. The shower makes weird noises and spontaneously switches from hot to cold. The sink doesn’t drain worth a damn and every so often weird shit comes bubbling up out of it and leaves nasty crap all over the sink. The faucets drip. *sigh* And don’t even get me started on the neighbors. Ugh! It will just be nice to get away from all that. Yes, it’s a longer commute and I will no longer be able to go home for lunch, but I figure it’s worth it to live in a better place and be closer to Adam. Well, live WITH Adam. I guess we’ll see how things work out.
Adam recently got a nights/weekends part-time job over at Wal-Mart. He starts on Monday and seems to be excited about it. I can’t help but think it’s my fault that he decided to do this. When we were talking about getting an apartment and were looking around at our choices, he got nervous about whether he’d be able to afford his part of the expenses. Yes, I make more than he does, but not THAT much more. He just decided he’d be more comfortable with the whole thing if he took this job for a bit to accumulate some money in savings and add a little padding to his current balances. I can understand this and I totally support it. I’m just not sure how much I’m going to like his being unavailable to me for so much of the time. Both he and I likened it to my stint in Lancaster. I suppose him doing this now will eliminate the need for him to do this later on. I really like the idea that he’s trying to get himself together and organized financially since he knows this is a big thing with me. I guess it’s kind of flattering that he’s been asking for my advice and help about this kind of thing. Money does tend to unleash a psycho part of me though and I worry that I’ll get too bossy or something. I don’t know. I suppose I shouldn’t worry since I’m sure if I was bugging him he’d let me know. That’s one great thing about the relationship we have: we both don’t see the need to be someone we’re not and we have no problem being completely honest with each other. If he’s doing things that are irritating me, I tell him, and vice versa. It’s a good thing. So anyway, I think I’ll be finding myself alone more than I have been in the recent months but I’m thinking this might be good. Maybe I’ll get that latch-hook done. Or started. LoL.
Friday, July 08, 2005
Friday, June 24, 2005
More Ponderances
Lately I’ve been thinking about how perceptions and attitudes about things change depending on what is going on in your life, or, probably more importantly, who is in your life. I apologize if this gets out of hand and I end up spouting all kinds of philosophical bullshit for a bit, but I’ve just been thinking about this lately and I felt like typing it all out here. And this is my blog so therefore I can do whatever I want. Heh.
Case in point: I’m sure any of you who have known me for the past few years were aware of my pessimistic view of, well, everything. I had given up on finding a decent guy and having a normal relationship. I had grown resigned to the “relationships of convenience” that seemed to find me on a regular basis. When I met John, I gave up on my idealistic “I’m going to marry a white boy between the ages of 21 and 25” since John is obviously neither white nor in that age category. With the abandonment of the regular, normal relationship came the abandonment of marriage and, subsequently, children. I decided I was content with what I could get. I actually was able to convince myself that I didn’t want to find someone who I could love and who I could be with forever. I believed that children hated me and I hated them too. It’s amazing how your brain is able to take things like that and make you believe that’s really the truth.
Then things changed.
When I met Adam (for the second time), I was almost instantly hit by the feelings that I had when I was around him or talking to him. Trust me, I tried to ignore them, rationalizing them away as a misinterpretation of a friendship. I mean, I was so messed up by that point, who was to say I wasn’t just making these feelings up? The problem was they weren’t going away. Every time he’d come over and we’d do things together I would still get them. Every time the phone would ring and it was him (and let’s face it, not many other people call me), I’d get a fluttery feeling in my stomach. Since the first conversation, there hasn’t been a single day that he hasn’t called me at least once. That’s a lot of fluttery feelings. I don’t know why I waited so long to accept the fact that they weren’t going away. Ok, yes I do. It was because I dreaded the rejection that I was so sure was bound to come. I was positive I was just being psychotic and letting myself get attached to another guy who would just mess with me and then fall off the face of the earth with no warning. Fortunately I allowed myself to leak things out on this blog and things worked out.
But now other things have been happening. Over the past few weeks we’ve had quite a few odd situations. The first one occurred in Copps. We were over in the dairy section where I was picking out some yogurt. I wanted the whipped stuff while he told me I should get the regular stuff because it was on sale. A lady nearby told him that he shouldn’t argue with his wife. Let her get what she wants. That’s rule # 1 of marriage. I didn’t know what to say. I guess I got flustered and turned a hideous shade of red (this is what he tells me.) I mean, yikes. We’re already bickering like a married couple? The second also happened at Copps. (He commented that perhaps we should start shopping elsewhere. LoL.) We were in the check-out lines last weekend and he was messing with an electric toothbrush. It vibrated very loudly, which he found amusing. (And who wouldn’t?) The checker commented that perhaps that’s what he wanted for Father’s Day. Uh, What? Do I look pregnant? I see no children… I don’t know what that was about, but it was another weird moment. The third happened last weekend as well. We were shopping a Kohls when he called a co-worker. When he mentioned that we were shopping, the guy on the other end apparently asked something like “for what, a ring?” and Adam freaked out and assured him it was nothing of that sort. I mean geesh people! What’s with all these things! We’ve only been dating for two months!
But that raises another issue. Yes, we’ve been dating for two months. Woulda been longer if either of us had taken some initiative sooner…but still…two months. I know there’s no pre-set timetable for relationships and there’s no guide to follow to chart how well your particular relationship is moving along, but it seems to me that this one is moving really fast. The thing is it just feels right. It doesn’t seem like it’s a bad thing that things are happening so quickly. I don’t question the decisions we’re making. We’ve been discussing the fact that my lease is up in October and we’ve been contemplating the idea of moving in together for quite some time now. It doesn’t seem like a stupid idea. It makes sense to me. I am not second guessing it. This scares me.
Over the last week I’ve been thinking about things. Serious things. When that lady mistook us as a married couple it didn’t really bother me. I think I’m ok with the idea of eventually being married. Being constantly surrounded by (albeit, psycho) pregnant ladies down in Lancaster has got me thinking that perhaps having a kid or two wouldn’t be so horrible. The logical connection here is marrying and having kids with the person I’ve spent almost every free minute with for the past few months. This makes sense. There hasn’t been a day since probably January that I haven’t talked to Adam. Not one day. I like the time he spends with me. Even when we’re doing something I generally don’t enjoy (ie: camping. LoL.) When he spends the entire weekend at my house, I like the times we’re just sitting around doing nothing. I like that we’re comfortable enough with each other to be able to sit around doing nothing. I like that we can sleep together - and I do mean SLEEP. He is the first person I’ve been able to share a bed with and actually get a decent amount of sleep. And I know for a fact that he snores and flails around in his sleep. It just doesn’t seem to bother me. It’s just so weird. There are just too many good things that make too much sense to me to ignore them all. Sometimes it’s like we’re inside each others’ minds. It’s nice.
Ok, well I think I’ve exhausted my emotions for now. We’ll see what happens I guess.
Case in point: I’m sure any of you who have known me for the past few years were aware of my pessimistic view of, well, everything. I had given up on finding a decent guy and having a normal relationship. I had grown resigned to the “relationships of convenience” that seemed to find me on a regular basis. When I met John, I gave up on my idealistic “I’m going to marry a white boy between the ages of 21 and 25” since John is obviously neither white nor in that age category. With the abandonment of the regular, normal relationship came the abandonment of marriage and, subsequently, children. I decided I was content with what I could get. I actually was able to convince myself that I didn’t want to find someone who I could love and who I could be with forever. I believed that children hated me and I hated them too. It’s amazing how your brain is able to take things like that and make you believe that’s really the truth.
Then things changed.
When I met Adam (for the second time), I was almost instantly hit by the feelings that I had when I was around him or talking to him. Trust me, I tried to ignore them, rationalizing them away as a misinterpretation of a friendship. I mean, I was so messed up by that point, who was to say I wasn’t just making these feelings up? The problem was they weren’t going away. Every time he’d come over and we’d do things together I would still get them. Every time the phone would ring and it was him (and let’s face it, not many other people call me), I’d get a fluttery feeling in my stomach. Since the first conversation, there hasn’t been a single day that he hasn’t called me at least once. That’s a lot of fluttery feelings. I don’t know why I waited so long to accept the fact that they weren’t going away. Ok, yes I do. It was because I dreaded the rejection that I was so sure was bound to come. I was positive I was just being psychotic and letting myself get attached to another guy who would just mess with me and then fall off the face of the earth with no warning. Fortunately I allowed myself to leak things out on this blog and things worked out.
But now other things have been happening. Over the past few weeks we’ve had quite a few odd situations. The first one occurred in Copps. We were over in the dairy section where I was picking out some yogurt. I wanted the whipped stuff while he told me I should get the regular stuff because it was on sale. A lady nearby told him that he shouldn’t argue with his wife. Let her get what she wants. That’s rule # 1 of marriage. I didn’t know what to say. I guess I got flustered and turned a hideous shade of red (this is what he tells me.) I mean, yikes. We’re already bickering like a married couple? The second also happened at Copps. (He commented that perhaps we should start shopping elsewhere. LoL.) We were in the check-out lines last weekend and he was messing with an electric toothbrush. It vibrated very loudly, which he found amusing. (And who wouldn’t?) The checker commented that perhaps that’s what he wanted for Father’s Day. Uh, What? Do I look pregnant? I see no children… I don’t know what that was about, but it was another weird moment. The third happened last weekend as well. We were shopping a Kohls when he called a co-worker. When he mentioned that we were shopping, the guy on the other end apparently asked something like “for what, a ring?” and Adam freaked out and assured him it was nothing of that sort. I mean geesh people! What’s with all these things! We’ve only been dating for two months!
But that raises another issue. Yes, we’ve been dating for two months. Woulda been longer if either of us had taken some initiative sooner…but still…two months. I know there’s no pre-set timetable for relationships and there’s no guide to follow to chart how well your particular relationship is moving along, but it seems to me that this one is moving really fast. The thing is it just feels right. It doesn’t seem like it’s a bad thing that things are happening so quickly. I don’t question the decisions we’re making. We’ve been discussing the fact that my lease is up in October and we’ve been contemplating the idea of moving in together for quite some time now. It doesn’t seem like a stupid idea. It makes sense to me. I am not second guessing it. This scares me.
Over the last week I’ve been thinking about things. Serious things. When that lady mistook us as a married couple it didn’t really bother me. I think I’m ok with the idea of eventually being married. Being constantly surrounded by (albeit, psycho) pregnant ladies down in Lancaster has got me thinking that perhaps having a kid or two wouldn’t be so horrible. The logical connection here is marrying and having kids with the person I’ve spent almost every free minute with for the past few months. This makes sense. There hasn’t been a day since probably January that I haven’t talked to Adam. Not one day. I like the time he spends with me. Even when we’re doing something I generally don’t enjoy (ie: camping. LoL.) When he spends the entire weekend at my house, I like the times we’re just sitting around doing nothing. I like that we’re comfortable enough with each other to be able to sit around doing nothing. I like that we can sleep together - and I do mean SLEEP. He is the first person I’ve been able to share a bed with and actually get a decent amount of sleep. And I know for a fact that he snores and flails around in his sleep. It just doesn’t seem to bother me. It’s just so weird. There are just too many good things that make too much sense to me to ignore them all. Sometimes it’s like we’re inside each others’ minds. It’s nice.
Ok, well I think I’ve exhausted my emotions for now. We’ll see what happens I guess.
Friday, June 17, 2005
Update
(Note: I actually wrote this entry on Thursday, June 16)
I’m actually typing this as I sit at work down in Lancaster, waiting for the clock to read somewhere more near 3pm. That’s my self-chosen departure time. Aaah, independent thinking is wonderful.
Anyway, it’s been a little while since I’ve updated this and although it appears that I spend 90% of my time being bored in a hotel in a dinky town, I have actually been doing some other things. My last day at Kmart was Saturday, June 4th. It was not a day full of tears and hugging. In fact no one seemed to notice or care that I was leaving. I had to fill out this gay exit interview questionnaire and hand in my vest and discount card. Boo hoo. By the time I actually walked out the door I was just glad to be done with it. No one I really was friends with was working then anyway so I suppose I could stop in sometime to talk with them but I’m not sure I want to. It’s just nice to have weekends completely free for now.
This past weekend was my first week of the aforementioned freedom. After having a pretty terrible week (which I may go into later, although it’s not really my place to do so) Adam decided to give camping a try. It was kind of my idea, kind of his idea, but overall it was a joint decision. I think he needed to get away for a bit. So we drove up to Door County on Friday afternoon, armed with a tent, a grill, and lots of other camp necessities. Unfortunately the weather didn’t exactly cooperate and it thundered, lightninged, and rained for most of the night. Add to that the fact that we apparently got the lumpiest campsite available and you’ve got the perfect recipe for a good night’s sleep. Yeah. Sure. At least the tent was waterproof.
Saturday started out a lot better. We showered and hopped in the car and drove around the peninsula for a few hours. Then we caught the ferry out to Washington Island. We drove to the very tip of the island and then stopped at an ostrich farm on the way back. We fed the various animals that lived there. My favorite, without a doubt, were the two pot bellied pigs. They were twin sisters and they were just adorable. They ran around and followed us, oinking gleefully when we stooped down to feed them. They were so friendly. There was also the camel who they said liked giving kisses, but I’m not sure anyone would want them from that huge slobbery mouth. There was a forelorn looking donkey who was isolated all by himself in a corner. Then there were the ostriches. Or llamas, if you’re going for a Dude, Where’s my Car? reference. They were pretty big and mean looking. When Adam held out the cone they give you with the food pellet stuff, the ostrich ripped it out of his hand and attacked it. We finished up at the farm right before it started raining again. Talk about good timing. We got back to the dock and caught the ferry back to the mainland. We drove back through all the little towns, stopping at the Door County confectionary on the way. I got a ton of candy that I probably shouldn’t have, but they had all kinds of candy that I haven’t had for years: sour apple balls, butterscotch disks, those strawberry things wrapped in strawberry printed foil… and fudge. Yummy fudge. We then headed back to the campsite where Adam displayed his manliness by chopping firewood. He had had some trouble the previous night with the whole “getting the fire started” thing and he figured maybe smaller chunks of wood would catch on fire and stay burning easier. It was so hot though that he eventually ended up in nothing but his boxers. Not that I’m complaining. Tee hee. After he recovered from that we went to lay down in the tent for awhile. It was so damn hot in that thing. After some discussion, we decided to abandon the camping idea for the rest of the weekend and go to an air-conditioned hotel. Ironically, we came to this decision right after he got a decent fire started and it refused to be put out. We packed up the site, doused the fire with water until it finally died, gave the firewood to a neighboring site, and headed to Green Bay. We happened to drive right through a pretty nasty storm that apparently spawned a few tornadoes. At least we weren’t in a tent this time…
After a much better night’s sleep, we lazed around in the room for a few hours on Sunday morning and then headed back to his house. We unpacked the camping gear and then he cooked some chicken on the grill and we made s’mores. Then I went home and got ready for another week down in Lancaster.
We do plan to try the camping thing again sometime this summer. We went to Wal-Mart in Sturgeon Bay and got an air mattress so hopefully that will help with the lumpiness factor next time. It was just so humid and the weather really sucked. We just need to choose a better weekend and I’m sure it will be a great time. I took a few pictures of the weekend (although not as many as I would have liked) and they’re posted on the photobucket site.
In other news, next week will be my last week in Lancaster. No really. It will be. One of the other ladies who has been out on maternity leave since March will be returning on the 27th so I will no longer be needed. Yay. I can finish out the month back in Oshkosh doing my real job. It might take some adjustment though, being home so much. I’ve spent so little time in my apartment lately it’s almost like I don’t even live there anymore. Ok, perhaps that’s an exaggeration. It’s just going to be weird. I might have to hold Adam hostage in my apartment for a week or so. Muahahahahaha. Just kidding.
I have a few IMA organization meetings in the next few months, but other than that I really have no big fun or exciting plans. Oh yeah, tentative camping plans for the second weekend in July with Catherine and Anthony too. Apparently Peninsula State Park is all booked up so we’re (and by “we’re”, I mean “Adam”) is going to try and get us into some other place over in Waupaca or something. I don’t remember. My short-term memory is a mess.
We passed our two month anniversary this past week. It hadn’t occurred to me until Adam made some comment this past weekend about how long we’d been dating. I couldn’t remember when we had started going out and I thought he was way off in his estimate, so after doing a little research (through this blog, as a matter of fact) I discovered that Monday was 2 months. I shared this little fact with him and he sent me flowers on Thursday. Purple flowers. I’m going to work on getting a pic of those in photobucket as well. People down here in Lancaster were envious. One of the ladies told me that he’s a keeper. LoL. I agree. That is kind of the plan.
Sometimes I just feel so un-girly. Aren’t we women supposed to be all date conscious and make big deals out of every milestone? I didn’t even remember when we had decided to start dating! I’m a sorry excuse for a female. *sob*
Just kidding. I think if I was that kind of person I’d annoy even MYSELF and that’s not a good thing. I’m ok with having a “male” attitude about some things. I guess perhaps I need to get in touch with my feminine side too. Hee.
Anyways… that’s about all I’ve got for now. We’re planning to go out for dinner on Saturday, but there are really no other plans for the near future. Which is cool.
I’m actually typing this as I sit at work down in Lancaster, waiting for the clock to read somewhere more near 3pm. That’s my self-chosen departure time. Aaah, independent thinking is wonderful.
Anyway, it’s been a little while since I’ve updated this and although it appears that I spend 90% of my time being bored in a hotel in a dinky town, I have actually been doing some other things. My last day at Kmart was Saturday, June 4th. It was not a day full of tears and hugging. In fact no one seemed to notice or care that I was leaving. I had to fill out this gay exit interview questionnaire and hand in my vest and discount card. Boo hoo. By the time I actually walked out the door I was just glad to be done with it. No one I really was friends with was working then anyway so I suppose I could stop in sometime to talk with them but I’m not sure I want to. It’s just nice to have weekends completely free for now.
This past weekend was my first week of the aforementioned freedom. After having a pretty terrible week (which I may go into later, although it’s not really my place to do so) Adam decided to give camping a try. It was kind of my idea, kind of his idea, but overall it was a joint decision. I think he needed to get away for a bit. So we drove up to Door County on Friday afternoon, armed with a tent, a grill, and lots of other camp necessities. Unfortunately the weather didn’t exactly cooperate and it thundered, lightninged, and rained for most of the night. Add to that the fact that we apparently got the lumpiest campsite available and you’ve got the perfect recipe for a good night’s sleep. Yeah. Sure. At least the tent was waterproof.
Saturday started out a lot better. We showered and hopped in the car and drove around the peninsula for a few hours. Then we caught the ferry out to Washington Island. We drove to the very tip of the island and then stopped at an ostrich farm on the way back. We fed the various animals that lived there. My favorite, without a doubt, were the two pot bellied pigs. They were twin sisters and they were just adorable. They ran around and followed us, oinking gleefully when we stooped down to feed them. They were so friendly. There was also the camel who they said liked giving kisses, but I’m not sure anyone would want them from that huge slobbery mouth. There was a forelorn looking donkey who was isolated all by himself in a corner. Then there were the ostriches. Or llamas, if you’re going for a Dude, Where’s my Car? reference. They were pretty big and mean looking. When Adam held out the cone they give you with the food pellet stuff, the ostrich ripped it out of his hand and attacked it. We finished up at the farm right before it started raining again. Talk about good timing. We got back to the dock and caught the ferry back to the mainland. We drove back through all the little towns, stopping at the Door County confectionary on the way. I got a ton of candy that I probably shouldn’t have, but they had all kinds of candy that I haven’t had for years: sour apple balls, butterscotch disks, those strawberry things wrapped in strawberry printed foil… and fudge. Yummy fudge. We then headed back to the campsite where Adam displayed his manliness by chopping firewood. He had had some trouble the previous night with the whole “getting the fire started” thing and he figured maybe smaller chunks of wood would catch on fire and stay burning easier. It was so hot though that he eventually ended up in nothing but his boxers. Not that I’m complaining. Tee hee. After he recovered from that we went to lay down in the tent for awhile. It was so damn hot in that thing. After some discussion, we decided to abandon the camping idea for the rest of the weekend and go to an air-conditioned hotel. Ironically, we came to this decision right after he got a decent fire started and it refused to be put out. We packed up the site, doused the fire with water until it finally died, gave the firewood to a neighboring site, and headed to Green Bay. We happened to drive right through a pretty nasty storm that apparently spawned a few tornadoes. At least we weren’t in a tent this time…
After a much better night’s sleep, we lazed around in the room for a few hours on Sunday morning and then headed back to his house. We unpacked the camping gear and then he cooked some chicken on the grill and we made s’mores. Then I went home and got ready for another week down in Lancaster.
We do plan to try the camping thing again sometime this summer. We went to Wal-Mart in Sturgeon Bay and got an air mattress so hopefully that will help with the lumpiness factor next time. It was just so humid and the weather really sucked. We just need to choose a better weekend and I’m sure it will be a great time. I took a few pictures of the weekend (although not as many as I would have liked) and they’re posted on the photobucket site.
In other news, next week will be my last week in Lancaster. No really. It will be. One of the other ladies who has been out on maternity leave since March will be returning on the 27th so I will no longer be needed. Yay. I can finish out the month back in Oshkosh doing my real job. It might take some adjustment though, being home so much. I’ve spent so little time in my apartment lately it’s almost like I don’t even live there anymore. Ok, perhaps that’s an exaggeration. It’s just going to be weird. I might have to hold Adam hostage in my apartment for a week or so. Muahahahahaha. Just kidding.
I have a few IMA organization meetings in the next few months, but other than that I really have no big fun or exciting plans. Oh yeah, tentative camping plans for the second weekend in July with Catherine and Anthony too. Apparently Peninsula State Park is all booked up so we’re (and by “we’re”, I mean “Adam”) is going to try and get us into some other place over in Waupaca or something. I don’t remember. My short-term memory is a mess.
We passed our two month anniversary this past week. It hadn’t occurred to me until Adam made some comment this past weekend about how long we’d been dating. I couldn’t remember when we had started going out and I thought he was way off in his estimate, so after doing a little research (through this blog, as a matter of fact) I discovered that Monday was 2 months. I shared this little fact with him and he sent me flowers on Thursday. Purple flowers. I’m going to work on getting a pic of those in photobucket as well. People down here in Lancaster were envious. One of the ladies told me that he’s a keeper. LoL. I agree. That is kind of the plan.
Sometimes I just feel so un-girly. Aren’t we women supposed to be all date conscious and make big deals out of every milestone? I didn’t even remember when we had decided to start dating! I’m a sorry excuse for a female. *sob*
Just kidding. I think if I was that kind of person I’d annoy even MYSELF and that’s not a good thing. I’m ok with having a “male” attitude about some things. I guess perhaps I need to get in touch with my feminine side too. Hee.
Anyways… that’s about all I’ve got for now. We’re planning to go out for dinner on Saturday, but there are really no other plans for the near future. Which is cool.
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Life is strange...
I apologize in advance if this gets out of hand length-wise. This driving 3 hours twice a week thing gives me lots of time to think and muse over things, so I have a lot of stuff to get out here. I have no problem admitting that I'm not the kind of person who can sit around and talk about my emotions. As Adam has probably figured out, I'm also not generally comfortable with someone else sitting around talking about THEIR feelings. Now, don't think that means I don't care and I don't want to know about them. I just don't know how to react to them and I get the feeling I usually react in the wrong way. Somehow smiling and nodding just doesn't seem to be the reaction he wants. I don't know. The thing is most of the stuff he says to me is things I've been thinking to myself anyway. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one who notices these things but I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing that he's the one who vocalizes them.
To clarify my point, here's an example: We went out to dinner on Friday night. He called me and told me to be ready to hop in the car when he pulled up. He wouldn't tell me where we were going. It was a surprise. Now, he knows I don't particularly like surprises, but I went along with it anyway. :) So we're in the car and I can't remember if it was on the way there or on the way back (I think it was on the way there) and it was raining and the sun was out so of course there were rainbows all over the place. We were just talking about random shit and seemingly out of nowhere he says that his mom commented the other day about how since we've been dating, he seems a lot happier. He went on to say that he kind of brushed the comment off without a lot of thought and went to work. But later on in the day, it came back to him and he noticed that she was right. He said that he HAS been happier and has been feeling different than he ever has before. (I'm paraphrasing...I don't remember exactly what he said...) It's just so weird because on Thursday afternoon on the way back home from Lancaster, I was sitting in my car, thinking about how right now I'm probably happier than I've ever been in my entire life. I was actually composing an entry about that particular subject.
A few days before that he called me in the evening while I was at the hotel and we talked like we usually do every night. Then again, seemingly at random, he makes some comment about how he knows relationships are supposed to take some effort to work, but with me it doesn't seem like work. I commented that this should be a good thing and he agreed. But I agree with him too. What is going on here does seem almost effortless. The weirdness here is that a week or so ago I started composing a list of all the things I liked about him (because he has asked me more than once what made me decide that I wanted to date him and I wanted to be prepared the next time) and the very first thing on my list is that I'm so comfortable with him and can just be myself. It just seems to come naturally. Sometimes I tell him to quit reading my mind as a joke but at times I can't help but wonder why he seems so in tune with what I'm thinking. No, I'm not worried at all that he has ESP or something because there are definately times that he's completely clueless. It's just weird sometimes. But good weird.
Anyway, back to my original subject. When he says things like that, at random, it catches me off guard and I don't know how to react to it. I've never been much good at expressing my emotions. And not that anyone really knows me that well, but I generally just keep things inside, whether they be good or bad. This is probably why it took me a good 3 months to express (albeit, in writing on the internet) what I really wanted from him. I tend to shy away from exposing too much of that kind of thing because I never know how the person is going to react. I readily admit that I have severe trust issues. I also have a spectacular maze of defense mechanisms all ready and armed at a moment's notice. So far I haven't had to shut myself down to deal with anything that's come at me from Adam. I really hope it stays that way. I've learned from past experience that once something happens that requires me to do that, it's pretty much a lost cause. I realize that what I just typed makes me sound psycho and I'm not going to try and explain it. I also realize that Adam is not anyone from the past and I really shouldn't compare him to that. It's just that my past made me the person I am right now and that affects the way I react and interact with him. I just get so mad sometimes at my inability to express what I'm feeling. I know there are times that I should say or do something and I can't bring myself to do it. I don't know why.
Anyway, given some conversations over the last few days, I think it's safe to say that things are going well. And Adam, although I know I probably reacted to things you said in a strange way, just know that I was listening to you, I heard what you said, and I know exactly what you mean because I have the same feelings.
Moving on.
We went and did the great cell phone exchange yesterday. It didn't take very long at all. I was impressed seeing as how he told me we'd have to wait in line for hours. We did get there right as they opened though so that probably made a difference. I am now a proud new Alltel user. (That's what Adam has and we figured free mobile-to-mobile minutes would come in handy.) I also got a new phone. I'd had the huge Nokia for over 4 years and it's had the battery taped on it for about a year now so it was time to upgrade. I got the Audiovox 8910. A cute little flip phone.
New one Old One
It's going to take me some time to familiarize myself with all the extra crap that is on phones these days but it should be fun. Now I need to get some dirty ring tone to program in there for when Adam calls me. Muahahahahaha. Just kidding. Maybe.
I have a least two weeks left in Lancaster and since the person I was replacing is now on manditory bedrest...we'll see I guess. We have a "state of the union" pow wow next week. But being away from home so much and having Kmart schedule me so many damn hours inspired me to finally put in my two weeks notice last night. I have 2 weeks worth of vacation to burn up, but after that I asked to be taken off the schedule permanently. I stayed there after I graduated because I was still enjoying what I was doing. Somewhere in the last few months something has changed and I no longer feel that way. They also have been scheduling me way too many hours than I want to be working. It's time to move on past that part of my life. Ironically enough, my four-year anniversary there is this next week. Go figure... I doubt whatever raise I'd get would make it worth my while to stay there. LoL. I asked Adam what we're going to do with all the free time I'll have on weekends now. First he got an evil look on his face. Heh. The we came up with things to do more of: biking, walking, I won't have to ask off to go camping now, boating. I think at first it will be odd to not work on weekends but I'm sure I'll get used to it just like I got used to having a lunch hour.
And all you people who kept bugging me to quit, there ya go. I did it.
To clarify my point, here's an example: We went out to dinner on Friday night. He called me and told me to be ready to hop in the car when he pulled up. He wouldn't tell me where we were going. It was a surprise. Now, he knows I don't particularly like surprises, but I went along with it anyway. :) So we're in the car and I can't remember if it was on the way there or on the way back (I think it was on the way there) and it was raining and the sun was out so of course there were rainbows all over the place. We were just talking about random shit and seemingly out of nowhere he says that his mom commented the other day about how since we've been dating, he seems a lot happier. He went on to say that he kind of brushed the comment off without a lot of thought and went to work. But later on in the day, it came back to him and he noticed that she was right. He said that he HAS been happier and has been feeling different than he ever has before. (I'm paraphrasing...I don't remember exactly what he said...) It's just so weird because on Thursday afternoon on the way back home from Lancaster, I was sitting in my car, thinking about how right now I'm probably happier than I've ever been in my entire life. I was actually composing an entry about that particular subject.
A few days before that he called me in the evening while I was at the hotel and we talked like we usually do every night. Then again, seemingly at random, he makes some comment about how he knows relationships are supposed to take some effort to work, but with me it doesn't seem like work. I commented that this should be a good thing and he agreed. But I agree with him too. What is going on here does seem almost effortless. The weirdness here is that a week or so ago I started composing a list of all the things I liked about him (because he has asked me more than once what made me decide that I wanted to date him and I wanted to be prepared the next time) and the very first thing on my list is that I'm so comfortable with him and can just be myself. It just seems to come naturally. Sometimes I tell him to quit reading my mind as a joke but at times I can't help but wonder why he seems so in tune with what I'm thinking. No, I'm not worried at all that he has ESP or something because there are definately times that he's completely clueless. It's just weird sometimes. But good weird.
Anyway, back to my original subject. When he says things like that, at random, it catches me off guard and I don't know how to react to it. I've never been much good at expressing my emotions. And not that anyone really knows me that well, but I generally just keep things inside, whether they be good or bad. This is probably why it took me a good 3 months to express (albeit, in writing on the internet) what I really wanted from him. I tend to shy away from exposing too much of that kind of thing because I never know how the person is going to react. I readily admit that I have severe trust issues. I also have a spectacular maze of defense mechanisms all ready and armed at a moment's notice. So far I haven't had to shut myself down to deal with anything that's come at me from Adam. I really hope it stays that way. I've learned from past experience that once something happens that requires me to do that, it's pretty much a lost cause. I realize that what I just typed makes me sound psycho and I'm not going to try and explain it. I also realize that Adam is not anyone from the past and I really shouldn't compare him to that. It's just that my past made me the person I am right now and that affects the way I react and interact with him. I just get so mad sometimes at my inability to express what I'm feeling. I know there are times that I should say or do something and I can't bring myself to do it. I don't know why.
Anyway, given some conversations over the last few days, I think it's safe to say that things are going well. And Adam, although I know I probably reacted to things you said in a strange way, just know that I was listening to you, I heard what you said, and I know exactly what you mean because I have the same feelings.
Moving on.
We went and did the great cell phone exchange yesterday. It didn't take very long at all. I was impressed seeing as how he told me we'd have to wait in line for hours. We did get there right as they opened though so that probably made a difference. I am now a proud new Alltel user. (That's what Adam has and we figured free mobile-to-mobile minutes would come in handy.) I also got a new phone. I'd had the huge Nokia for over 4 years and it's had the battery taped on it for about a year now so it was time to upgrade. I got the Audiovox 8910. A cute little flip phone.
New one Old One
It's going to take me some time to familiarize myself with all the extra crap that is on phones these days but it should be fun. Now I need to get some dirty ring tone to program in there for when Adam calls me. Muahahahahaha. Just kidding. Maybe.
I have a least two weeks left in Lancaster and since the person I was replacing is now on manditory bedrest...we'll see I guess. We have a "state of the union" pow wow next week. But being away from home so much and having Kmart schedule me so many damn hours inspired me to finally put in my two weeks notice last night. I have 2 weeks worth of vacation to burn up, but after that I asked to be taken off the schedule permanently. I stayed there after I graduated because I was still enjoying what I was doing. Somewhere in the last few months something has changed and I no longer feel that way. They also have been scheduling me way too many hours than I want to be working. It's time to move on past that part of my life. Ironically enough, my four-year anniversary there is this next week. Go figure... I doubt whatever raise I'd get would make it worth my while to stay there. LoL. I asked Adam what we're going to do with all the free time I'll have on weekends now. First he got an evil look on his face. Heh. The we came up with things to do more of: biking, walking, I won't have to ask off to go camping now, boating. I think at first it will be odd to not work on weekends but I'm sure I'll get used to it just like I got used to having a lunch hour.
And all you people who kept bugging me to quit, there ya go. I did it.
Friday, May 20, 2005
Meh
I'm not quite sure what to write here. It's been awhile since I wrote anything on this thing but nothing interesting is really happening anyway. I'm still spending the majority of my life in a car or in Lancaster. When I am here in Oshkosh I'm generally stuck in Kmart for too long, wishing I could just go back home and sleep. Or do other things involving me in a bed. Muhahahahahaha. Ok. Involving me and Adam and my bed. Geesh. We're a bunch of horny bastards.
Anywho. I know I keep saying this over and over but I really mean it this time. My days at Kmart are numbered. Every week I have less and less motivation to get up and go to work. I never want to be there and both the customers and the majority of my co-workers just make me want to go on a homicidal killing spree. Ok, perhaps that's an exaggeration. But seriously, every minute I spend there in that horrible red vest is almost torture-like.
Last weekend we went to the outlet mall and I bought a bike. I had originally wanted to get rollerblades but somehow I got talked out of that. So I got a Schwinn. (Reg $499, I got it for $160-ish because it's last year's model.) We're planning on taking it out for a spin tomorrow so we'll see how I like it. We'll see how much my butt (and other more sensitive regions of my body) like it. Hopefully I'll like the bike and bike riding and will be motivated to go ride on a regular basis so I can lose weight. Cuz I'm Fat. :((
Speaking of fat...when I went to the doctor last week I learned I'd gained 30+ pounds since my last visit and I'd shrunk by almost an inch. Great. On the positive side of things, I'm still ridiculously normal otherwise. Woot. I also got myself some hormonal help again. Let's hear it for birth control! In your face you stupid republicans! I got the Seasonale shit that will give me only 4 periods a year. That rocks. :) Being womanly and all is nice sometimes but sometimes you just need a break you know...
Anyway, with that extreme over-sharing, I draw this entry to a close so I can go watch something on tv with Adam.
Anywho. I know I keep saying this over and over but I really mean it this time. My days at Kmart are numbered. Every week I have less and less motivation to get up and go to work. I never want to be there and both the customers and the majority of my co-workers just make me want to go on a homicidal killing spree. Ok, perhaps that's an exaggeration. But seriously, every minute I spend there in that horrible red vest is almost torture-like.
Last weekend we went to the outlet mall and I bought a bike. I had originally wanted to get rollerblades but somehow I got talked out of that. So I got a Schwinn. (Reg $499, I got it for $160-ish because it's last year's model.) We're planning on taking it out for a spin tomorrow so we'll see how I like it. We'll see how much my butt (and other more sensitive regions of my body) like it. Hopefully I'll like the bike and bike riding and will be motivated to go ride on a regular basis so I can lose weight. Cuz I'm Fat. :((
Speaking of fat...when I went to the doctor last week I learned I'd gained 30+ pounds since my last visit and I'd shrunk by almost an inch. Great. On the positive side of things, I'm still ridiculously normal otherwise. Woot. I also got myself some hormonal help again. Let's hear it for birth control! In your face you stupid republicans! I got the Seasonale shit that will give me only 4 periods a year. That rocks. :) Being womanly and all is nice sometimes but sometimes you just need a break you know...
Anyway, with that extreme over-sharing, I draw this entry to a close so I can go watch something on tv with Adam.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
Talk about a long commute...
So.
Let's see. It's been awhile. What has been happening "In the Life of Martha"? Well, mainly I guess I should mention that work decided to send me down to Lancaster for 3-4 days each week for the next 6 weeks. Lancaster is appx 3 hours southwest of Oshkosh so it's a long drive. It's a tiny hick town with not much to do. I get to stay at a hotel (with cable tv!) for a few nights each week. So far it doesn't suck terribly. It's actually kind of nice. It's a much more relaxed environment than corporate is. It's different and I'm doing things I haven't done before so it's also educational and ups my overall value to the company. Not that I had any doubts about my value...I think I'm a pretty good catch. :) In your face Schneider National!
Kmart has been scheduling me for about one day a week, four or five hours. This is fine with me. Gives me more time to spend at home (when I'm here that is.) The next IMA meeting is the week after next so we'll see how that goes. I'm not anticipating anything too horrible since I've been going to meetings for a few years now. I don't expect anything will change just because I'm now on the board. I have a doctor's appointment this coming Thursday (yay insurance!) so hopefully they can figure out why my body is whacked. It's obnoxious, but I won't go into too much detail. Let's just say I think I need some help with hormonal balance. Meh. I just love going to a place where they strip you naked and prod you with various cold instruments. Now that's my idea of a good time. (not)
Whoa, talk about TMI.
Anywho, nothing else is really going on. We were messing around with the camera last night so there are some new pics on the photobucket site. Here's a preview:
Let's see. It's been awhile. What has been happening "In the Life of Martha"? Well, mainly I guess I should mention that work decided to send me down to Lancaster for 3-4 days each week for the next 6 weeks. Lancaster is appx 3 hours southwest of Oshkosh so it's a long drive. It's a tiny hick town with not much to do. I get to stay at a hotel (with cable tv!) for a few nights each week. So far it doesn't suck terribly. It's actually kind of nice. It's a much more relaxed environment than corporate is. It's different and I'm doing things I haven't done before so it's also educational and ups my overall value to the company. Not that I had any doubts about my value...I think I'm a pretty good catch. :) In your face Schneider National!
Kmart has been scheduling me for about one day a week, four or five hours. This is fine with me. Gives me more time to spend at home (when I'm here that is.) The next IMA meeting is the week after next so we'll see how that goes. I'm not anticipating anything too horrible since I've been going to meetings for a few years now. I don't expect anything will change just because I'm now on the board. I have a doctor's appointment this coming Thursday (yay insurance!) so hopefully they can figure out why my body is whacked. It's obnoxious, but I won't go into too much detail. Let's just say I think I need some help with hormonal balance. Meh. I just love going to a place where they strip you naked and prod you with various cold instruments. Now that's my idea of a good time. (not)
Whoa, talk about TMI.
Anywho, nothing else is really going on. We were messing around with the camera last night so there are some new pics on the photobucket site. Here's a preview:
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Another Thing...
How could I have forgotten this? We went to Oneida (Bingo and Casino) on Saturday night. This was my first time at a casino. It's pretty cool. I went in with $20 and came out with $50.50 and a $12 gift certificate. :D Adam didn't do quite as well, coming out about $4 ahead. But as he put it, he didn't LOSE anything... We're both Fun Club members now and have plans to get a regular gambling habit started. LoL. A regular, yet responsible, gambling habit that is.
Monday, April 25, 2005
Ugh. Rain.
*sigh*
Alrighty then. I really don't have a lot to say. Nothing much happens in my life these days. I'm afraid if I did start talking about some things I'd just end up complaining too much and being generally whiny and annoying. And I don't want to do that. I'll just say that sometimes I get frustrated. Yes. Frustrated.
Things are going well in general. Work is still fine although I find myself rather bored at times. I still do about 5 hours a week or so at Kmart and I heard through the grapevine that the store here in Oshkosh is very likely to become a Kmart/Sears hybrid store in the near future. I'm not sure what that means for the store and the employees. Kmart isn't really great at communicating things to their employees. I reach my four-year mark at the Oshkosh store in June. I had my year review this past Saturday. I find these things laughable since each year I get "reviewed" by a manager who has been my manager for about a month and can therefore not really know anything about what I do. It's a joke. Unfortunately, my current new manager is an ugly bitch who has let the power go to her head. She's less than a month older than I am, has worked at Kmart for about 1/4 of the time that I have, is knocked up, and thinks she rules the world. I don't respect authority too well in the first place and there's no way I can respect authority that comes in that form. During my review she basically said "You're a bitch" (in a less direct way, of course.) I think the higher ups will notice something's askew when I go from "Exceeds Expectations" last year to baaaarely squeaking past the "Needs Improvement" category this year. Yeah, whatever. Just because I know more about softlines (my area) and the whole store in general than she does and refuse to be bossed around by her ignorant dumb ass turns me into someone who is disrespectful towards fellow employees and short/rude to customers. Ok then. Everyone else at the store knows I do my job and I do it well. It's just another case of my manager having a personal grudge against me and trying to make me look bad. (Hello, Larry!) The last one got reprimanded by the store manager for being a dick and then he left. My hopes are still that she either dies during childbirth, which even I have to admit is kind of harsh, or she decides to be a SAHM after the birth of her hellspawn, which, by the way, is going to be one of the ugliest babies in the world. Truly ugly people shouldn't breed. Anyway, this review score will affect the amount of my raise but we all know that really doesn't matter at this point. Yay full time employment with benefits. Just watch and see them try and make me work Memorial Day. I don't THINK so.Perhaps I'll be quitting sooner than anticipated.
Moving on...
I went to the IMA meeting last week and somehow ended up sitting amongst the entire executive board: current and upcoming president, secretary, treasurer, etc. They convinced me to take a position on the board for next year. Granted, it wasn't very hard since I had kind of planned to scout out a position anyway. It was nice how it just kind of fell in my lap though. I am now the Director of Meetings and Membership. It is a position that doesn't take a lot of effort, but it should be fun and I should meet a lot of new people. Yay for networking. Sue would be so proud of me. :) I actually start my duties with the final meeting of this year since the current person in the position will be out of town for that meeting. Heh. Jump in feet first or whatever the saying is. It should be a good time. I am the youngest person on the board as far as I know. By quite a lot for most people. Lots of old men, basically. :) We'll see what kind of things come from this new connection.
Hobby-wise, not much new has developed. We finally got a puzzle we could put together after two depressing attempts at two strange puzzles. The one we got together was a 100 piece Barbie puzzle, but it still counts. It glows in the dark too apparently. I'll get a picture of it one of these days. Yes, it's still sitting on the table intact. We need some kind of ego-booster to work on the 500 piece leopards that have been sitting, unfinished (make that barely started) for well over a week. Heh. I guess puzzles aren't our thing. I also got a latchhook kit of a cat but the latchhook keeps breaking. So until I get my butt back to Hobby Lobby, that's not going very far either. We looked at roller blades at Target last weekend but I decided to wait and go to a sports store up in Appleton at some point. My back has been acting up the last week or so and therefore we haven't really done much of anything in the exercise arena. We'll get back into in soon, especially if the weather warms back up. It's been pretty icky lately, cold, windy, and now it's raining. Make that pouring.
That's about it for now. No big plans for the near future. Should be getting a new cell phone and plan in a few months. I'm switching to Alltell because then Adam can call me for free and vice versa. Granted, no one else ever calls me anyway so I'm in no danger of going over my minutes, but I've been with US Cellular for over 4 years with exactly the same phone and exactly the same plan. It's time for a change. Look for new pictures in the album. We've been experiment with new recipes lately. Which just reminds me. I forgot to snap a picture of the Bahamian chicken we made on Friday and I was supposed to get the leftovers instead. Which I just ate. Oops. It was very pretty. Trust me :)
Hmm. Guess I lied about the "not much to say" thing. Heh.
Alrighty then. I really don't have a lot to say. Nothing much happens in my life these days. I'm afraid if I did start talking about some things I'd just end up complaining too much and being generally whiny and annoying. And I don't want to do that. I'll just say that sometimes I get frustrated. Yes. Frustrated.
Things are going well in general. Work is still fine although I find myself rather bored at times. I still do about 5 hours a week or so at Kmart and I heard through the grapevine that the store here in Oshkosh is very likely to become a Kmart/Sears hybrid store in the near future. I'm not sure what that means for the store and the employees. Kmart isn't really great at communicating things to their employees. I reach my four-year mark at the Oshkosh store in June. I had my year review this past Saturday. I find these things laughable since each year I get "reviewed" by a manager who has been my manager for about a month and can therefore not really know anything about what I do. It's a joke. Unfortunately, my current new manager is an ugly bitch who has let the power go to her head. She's less than a month older than I am, has worked at Kmart for about 1/4 of the time that I have, is knocked up, and thinks she rules the world. I don't respect authority too well in the first place and there's no way I can respect authority that comes in that form. During my review she basically said "You're a bitch" (in a less direct way, of course.) I think the higher ups will notice something's askew when I go from "Exceeds Expectations" last year to baaaarely squeaking past the "Needs Improvement" category this year. Yeah, whatever. Just because I know more about softlines (my area) and the whole store in general than she does and refuse to be bossed around by her ignorant dumb ass turns me into someone who is disrespectful towards fellow employees and short/rude to customers. Ok then. Everyone else at the store knows I do my job and I do it well. It's just another case of my manager having a personal grudge against me and trying to make me look bad. (Hello, Larry!) The last one got reprimanded by the store manager for being a dick and then he left. My hopes are still that she either dies during childbirth, which even I have to admit is kind of harsh, or she decides to be a SAHM after the birth of her hellspawn, which, by the way, is going to be one of the ugliest babies in the world. Truly ugly people shouldn't breed. Anyway, this review score will affect the amount of my raise but we all know that really doesn't matter at this point. Yay full time employment with benefits. Just watch and see them try and make me work Memorial Day. I don't THINK so.
Moving on...
I went to the IMA meeting last week and somehow ended up sitting amongst the entire executive board: current and upcoming president, secretary, treasurer, etc. They convinced me to take a position on the board for next year. Granted, it wasn't very hard since I had kind of planned to scout out a position anyway. It was nice how it just kind of fell in my lap though. I am now the Director of Meetings and Membership. It is a position that doesn't take a lot of effort, but it should be fun and I should meet a lot of new people. Yay for networking. Sue would be so proud of me. :) I actually start my duties with the final meeting of this year since the current person in the position will be out of town for that meeting. Heh. Jump in feet first or whatever the saying is. It should be a good time. I am the youngest person on the board as far as I know. By quite a lot for most people. Lots of old men, basically. :) We'll see what kind of things come from this new connection.
Hobby-wise, not much new has developed. We finally got a puzzle we could put together after two depressing attempts at two strange puzzles. The one we got together was a 100 piece Barbie puzzle, but it still counts. It glows in the dark too apparently. I'll get a picture of it one of these days. Yes, it's still sitting on the table intact. We need some kind of ego-booster to work on the 500 piece leopards that have been sitting, unfinished (make that barely started) for well over a week. Heh. I guess puzzles aren't our thing. I also got a latchhook kit of a cat but the latchhook keeps breaking. So until I get my butt back to Hobby Lobby, that's not going very far either. We looked at roller blades at Target last weekend but I decided to wait and go to a sports store up in Appleton at some point. My back has been acting up the last week or so and therefore we haven't really done much of anything in the exercise arena. We'll get back into in soon, especially if the weather warms back up. It's been pretty icky lately, cold, windy, and now it's raining. Make that pouring.
That's about it for now. No big plans for the near future. Should be getting a new cell phone and plan in a few months. I'm switching to Alltell because then Adam can call me for free and vice versa. Granted, no one else ever calls me anyway so I'm in no danger of going over my minutes, but I've been with US Cellular for over 4 years with exactly the same phone and exactly the same plan. It's time for a change. Look for new pictures in the album. We've been experiment with new recipes lately. Which just reminds me. I forgot to snap a picture of the Bahamian chicken we made on Friday and I was supposed to get the leftovers instead. Which I just ate. Oops. It was very pretty. Trust me :)
Hmm. Guess I lied about the "not much to say" thing. Heh.
Saturday, April 16, 2005
Forgot something...
Oh yeah. He brought me flowers again last night - white roses this time with one purple one (dyed) in the middle.
Whew
So...
Quite a few things have happened since my last post. Most importantly I suppose is the fact that Adam really DID read my blog. I found this out when he called me at work on Wednesday and said, "So I was reading your blog..." I, of course, had an "oh shit", heart sinking to my stomach moment wondering what his next words were going to be. I figure he had two options: He could go the "wow, you're a crazy psychopath and I want to stay far, far away from you" way or he could go the "wow, you're cool and I'm glad you wrote this and I found it so we can just get over it and move on to more important things" way. Luckily he opted for the second one. He said all I would have had to do is ask (see end of previous entry for reference as to what I would be asking) and he would have said yes. So, yeah. It's all good now.
Although, he made breakfast this morning (french toast...mmm) and did the dishes and later on he told me he was afraid I was going to take a picture of him while he was doing them and post it online, telling everyone I already had him trained. Training him is really not any intention of mine. He's not a kid. He already has the ability to do most anything he needs to be doing. I don't want him to change who he is. I don't expect him to. I'm not one of those kinds. I'm sure there are things about him that will bug me (haven't really found anything yet except for his tendency to call me and then get distracted by something on his end of the phone and leave me sitting there, waiting for him to talk to me. He knows this bugs me though. :) But hey, at least he calls me!) and I'm sure there are things about me that bug him. Luckily there are lots more things about him that DON'T bug me than things that do so we're in good shape.
It's kind of weird, typing this stuff knowing there's a (good) chance he'll read it. I'm not editing my thoughts or anything because of it, but it's just odd. Maybe this medium will allow me to express things that probably wouldn't come out too well in another way. Who knows.
Enough of that.
I started the latchhook that I bought a week or so ago. The damn hook keeps breaking. I think I'm going to have to go back to Hobby Lobby and return it. A latchhook doesn't really serve its purpose if the grabber thingy snaps off every time you try and pull the yarn through the canvas. *sigh* Maybe I'll head over there tomorrow.
Right now, I'm being incredibly lazy, watching Terms of Endearment on UPN (dammit, I always cry when she dies! Good movie though.) and observing the sky get increasingly darker. It's supposed to storm tonight so that ought to be fun.
That's all I've got. I need to go in the bedroom and make my bed. It got kind of torn apart earlier. Muahahahahahahahahaha!
Quite a few things have happened since my last post. Most importantly I suppose is the fact that Adam really DID read my blog. I found this out when he called me at work on Wednesday and said, "So I was reading your blog..." I, of course, had an "oh shit", heart sinking to my stomach moment wondering what his next words were going to be. I figure he had two options: He could go the "wow, you're a crazy psychopath and I want to stay far, far away from you" way or he could go the "wow, you're cool and I'm glad you wrote this and I found it so we can just get over it and move on to more important things" way. Luckily he opted for the second one. He said all I would have had to do is ask (see end of previous entry for reference as to what I would be asking) and he would have said yes. So, yeah. It's all good now.
Although, he made breakfast this morning (french toast...mmm) and did the dishes and later on he told me he was afraid I was going to take a picture of him while he was doing them and post it online, telling everyone I already had him trained. Training him is really not any intention of mine. He's not a kid. He already has the ability to do most anything he needs to be doing. I don't want him to change who he is. I don't expect him to. I'm not one of those kinds. I'm sure there are things about him that will bug me (haven't really found anything yet except for his tendency to call me and then get distracted by something on his end of the phone and leave me sitting there, waiting for him to talk to me. He knows this bugs me though. :) But hey, at least he calls me!) and I'm sure there are things about me that bug him. Luckily there are lots more things about him that DON'T bug me than things that do so we're in good shape.
It's kind of weird, typing this stuff knowing there's a (good) chance he'll read it. I'm not editing my thoughts or anything because of it, but it's just odd. Maybe this medium will allow me to express things that probably wouldn't come out too well in another way. Who knows.
Enough of that.
I started the latchhook that I bought a week or so ago. The damn hook keeps breaking. I think I'm going to have to go back to Hobby Lobby and return it. A latchhook doesn't really serve its purpose if the grabber thingy snaps off every time you try and pull the yarn through the canvas. *sigh* Maybe I'll head over there tomorrow.
Right now, I'm being incredibly lazy, watching Terms of Endearment on UPN (dammit, I always cry when she dies! Good movie though.) and observing the sky get increasingly darker. It's supposed to storm tonight so that ought to be fun.
That's all I've got. I need to go in the bedroom and make my bed. It got kind of torn apart earlier. Muahahahahahahahahaha!
Monday, April 04, 2005
Highly bored
Hmm. I'm really not too sure why I'm writing anything right now since I have nothing much to say. I'm just kind of bored. I don't really have anything to do tonight and I don't feel like doing anything unnecessary.
My neighbors are driving me nuts. On the plus side, they had a "didn't pay rent and will be kicked out if you don't" notice on their door for the second month in a row. Here's to hoping they get evicted. :) Adam doesn't like them much either. We also don't like the idiots downstairs who constantly take up all the visitors parking and play mariachi music really loudly almost every Saturday morning. Ugh!
I want to live in the middle of nowhere with no neighbors.
Nah, I'd get scared so fast...not a good idea.
It's so weird to have nothing at all to do. I will have to work on getting a hobby or something so I don't spend all my time laying on the couch or playing Solitaire Thirteen. That can't be healthy. Maybe I'll start doing latch-hook again or something. I don't know. Need to find something with Taz on it... he's hard to find.
My neighbors are driving me nuts. On the plus side, they had a "didn't pay rent and will be kicked out if you don't" notice on their door for the second month in a row. Here's to hoping they get evicted. :) Adam doesn't like them much either. We also don't like the idiots downstairs who constantly take up all the visitors parking and play mariachi music really loudly almost every Saturday morning. Ugh!
I want to live in the middle of nowhere with no neighbors.
Nah, I'd get scared so fast...not a good idea.
It's so weird to have nothing at all to do. I will have to work on getting a hobby or something so I don't spend all my time laying on the couch or playing Solitaire Thirteen. That can't be healthy. Maybe I'll start doing latch-hook again or something. I don't know. Need to find something with Taz on it... he's hard to find.
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Ok then...
What the...
Both posts are there now. So now my last one sounds stupid. That figures.
Hey, at least I don't have to rewrite that one now. Woo.
Blogger.com still sucks though. Perhaps I can sue for emotional damages. :D
Both posts are there now. So now my last one sounds stupid. That figures.
Hey, at least I don't have to rewrite that one now. Woo.
Blogger.com still sucks though. Perhaps I can sue for emotional damages. :D
Friday, April 01, 2005
Wow
I just had a kickass entry here and when I clicked "publish" it told me I had errors and crashed.
I'm pissed.
Blogger.com, you SUCK
I'm pissed.
Blogger.com, you SUCK
Wow
It's been a little while. I guess I kind of forgot to post things.
So I went and had "Easter dinner" at Adam's house. They went to Taco Bell and brought back all kinds of things. His whole family was there: mom, dad, two sisters, and his sister's fiance. And then him and me. It was interesting to see the dynamics amongst the siblings and parents. They seem to be a relatively close-knit family full of humor. And Chris (the sister's fiance) fits right in. Most of the conversation was about his redneck family and how to deal with them at their impending nuptuals. It was kind of funny: They started their meal off with some prayer thing, crossing themselves and reciting something (they're big catholics), and I guess I looked kind of taken aback because Chris looked at me and mouthed "you'll get used to it." LoL. It was an interesting experience. I didn't talk very much mainly because not only was I observing things, but I really had nothing to add to a conversation about redneck relatives or installing a toilet. (Don't ask.) It was still fun.
Last night Adam told me that his mom likes me. He told me this while we were laying in bed, which is slightly concerning, but I guess it's a good thing that she approves. He told me she's a good judge of character. And always lets him know if she doesn't like someone he brings home. So I guess I'm ok :) Woo! Not that it's his MOTHER who I want liking me, but it can't hurt.
He sent me some fake internet quiz thing like you'd get in a chain e-mail message yesterday at work. I was suspicious, but I did it anyway and had a laugh. One of the blanks asked you to name someone you were attracted to. He called me later on and asked me who I put in that blank. *sigh* Does this guy need to be hit with a 2x4 to get the point? I mean, come on now. I think he was just being coy (or whatever the equivalent manlier term is for that) but he said he was just curious...with no ulterior motives. Yeah, right. My ass. I did answer him in a later e-mail, but apparently he skimmed right over it because he asked me again last night. I told him that I'd already answered him. He just asked if it was an obvious answer. I told him I sure hoped so, considering where he was and what he was doing... Heh... I'm so cute.
I picked up my new glasses yesterday too. They're much stronger than my old ones. Smaller and lighter too. I'll work on getting a decent picture posted. Had a huge headache yesterday afternoon and things still look kind of weird today but I'll adjust. Next on the "improving my life" list is a new cell phone.
Oh yeah - and getting Adam to be my boyfriend...officially...
So I went and had "Easter dinner" at Adam's house. They went to Taco Bell and brought back all kinds of things. His whole family was there: mom, dad, two sisters, and his sister's fiance. And then him and me. It was interesting to see the dynamics amongst the siblings and parents. They seem to be a relatively close-knit family full of humor. And Chris (the sister's fiance) fits right in. Most of the conversation was about his redneck family and how to deal with them at their impending nuptuals. It was kind of funny: They started their meal off with some prayer thing, crossing themselves and reciting something (they're big catholics), and I guess I looked kind of taken aback because Chris looked at me and mouthed "you'll get used to it." LoL. It was an interesting experience. I didn't talk very much mainly because not only was I observing things, but I really had nothing to add to a conversation about redneck relatives or installing a toilet. (Don't ask.) It was still fun.
Last night Adam told me that his mom likes me. He told me this while we were laying in bed, which is slightly concerning, but I guess it's a good thing that she approves. He told me she's a good judge of character. And always lets him know if she doesn't like someone he brings home. So I guess I'm ok :) Woo! Not that it's his MOTHER who I want liking me, but it can't hurt.
He sent me some fake internet quiz thing like you'd get in a chain e-mail message yesterday at work. I was suspicious, but I did it anyway and had a laugh. One of the blanks asked you to name someone you were attracted to. He called me later on and asked me who I put in that blank. *sigh* Does this guy need to be hit with a 2x4 to get the point? I mean, come on now. I think he was just being coy (or whatever the equivalent manlier term is for that) but he said he was just curious...with no ulterior motives. Yeah, right. My ass. I did answer him in a later e-mail, but apparently he skimmed right over it because he asked me again last night. I told him that I'd already answered him. He just asked if it was an obvious answer. I told him I sure hoped so, considering where he was and what he was doing... Heh... I'm so cute.
I picked up my new glasses yesterday too. They're much stronger than my old ones. Smaller and lighter too. I'll work on getting a decent picture posted. Had a huge headache yesterday afternoon and things still look kind of weird today but I'll adjust. Next on the "improving my life" list is a new cell phone.
Oh yeah - and getting Adam to be my boyfriend...officially...
Saturday, March 26, 2005
I've got no creative title for this one...
He brought me flowers last night. Not roses or anything like that. Just normal spring-like flowers. He told me he tried to get as much purple as possible. Because I like the color purple.
What kind of "friend" gets someone flowers? Especially a guy. Guys aren't really known for their incredible ability to do nice things for girls they aren't trying to get with. Perhaps that's a statement drawn from my experiences with the lower rungs of the male gender, but I still stand behind it. This guy is altogether too nice. Although he does do things that annoy me. Like call me when he's in the middle of doing something so he's constantly distracted or talking to someone else in the background. If you can't give me your undevoted attention, don't call me! Call me later when you can focus completely on me. It's my generally selfish nature to desire to always be the center of attention. Grrr. It's so obnoxious.
I found a ticklish spot on his elbow last night. Heh. It was fun. I swear there isn't a part of that guy's body that ISN'T ticklish. He's so much fun. :) Like an amusement park.
He also got Spongebob car seat covers. Why?!? I don't get it. Why is this so difficult. Oh yeah, because we're both wusses! Woo!
Anyway, there is indeed more to life than him. Things are going well with the job and the car and life in general is pretty good. I got a jacket this week from the plant I work for. I'm all official now that I have a piece of clothing with the company name on it, right? Picture is in my photobucket album.
I ordered my new glasses on Thursday so I should be able to see without getting splitting headaches in about a week. And if my new glasses make me look dumb, I'm going to blame Adam. I decided against contacts since I apparently have weird shaped eyes (thanks mom and dad) and I'm so used to glasses anyway I think it would be odd not having them. Plus they make me look smarter. :) This time I didn't get the transitions lenses, so that will be an adjustment. I'll have to find some sunglasses. I also got titanium flexible frames so they're really light and won't break when (I mean IF) I step on them. They're all bendy. :) This is a good thing, knowing how clutzy I am.
Other than that, not much is going on. No big plans or anything. I'm just drifting through life right now. It's fun. :)
What kind of "friend" gets someone flowers? Especially a guy. Guys aren't really known for their incredible ability to do nice things for girls they aren't trying to get with. Perhaps that's a statement drawn from my experiences with the lower rungs of the male gender, but I still stand behind it. This guy is altogether too nice. Although he does do things that annoy me. Like call me when he's in the middle of doing something so he's constantly distracted or talking to someone else in the background. If you can't give me your undevoted attention, don't call me! Call me later when you can focus completely on me. It's my generally selfish nature to desire to always be the center of attention. Grrr. It's so obnoxious.
I found a ticklish spot on his elbow last night. Heh. It was fun. I swear there isn't a part of that guy's body that ISN'T ticklish. He's so much fun. :) Like an amusement park.
He also got Spongebob car seat covers. Why?!? I don't get it. Why is this so difficult. Oh yeah, because we're both wusses! Woo!
Anyway, there is indeed more to life than him. Things are going well with the job and the car and life in general is pretty good. I got a jacket this week from the plant I work for. I'm all official now that I have a piece of clothing with the company name on it, right? Picture is in my photobucket album.
I ordered my new glasses on Thursday so I should be able to see without getting splitting headaches in about a week. And if my new glasses make me look dumb, I'm going to blame Adam. I decided against contacts since I apparently have weird shaped eyes (thanks mom and dad) and I'm so used to glasses anyway I think it would be odd not having them. Plus they make me look smarter. :) This time I didn't get the transitions lenses, so that will be an adjustment. I'll have to find some sunglasses. I also got titanium flexible frames so they're really light and won't break when (I mean IF) I step on them. They're all bendy. :) This is a good thing, knowing how clutzy I am.
Other than that, not much is going on. No big plans or anything. I'm just drifting through life right now. It's fun. :)
Friday, March 18, 2005
It's the alcohol talking...
Ok, that title line is a slight exaggeration. I mean, I've only had 2 beers tonight. Granted I've put myself on a 1,200 calorie diet because I'm FREAKIN' FAT so perhaps the alcohol will affect me more than usual. One can only hope. Did you know that there are 96 calories in a bottle of Miller Lite? Ugh!
Yes. I'm fat. But feeling wonderful about my fatness because Adam tells me I'm not fat. Yeah, whatever.
Anyway, nothing much is happening here lately except for snow and more snow, melting snow, slushy snow, big puddles in the parking lot because of snow. Ugh. When is spring going to arrive? Any day now would be quite alright with me.
Adam invited me to have Easter dinner with his family next weekend. Ok, he actually said that his mother suggested that he invite me but that he was ok with the idea as well. Now what does that mean? Argh! This guy talks more about the future (and not just the relatively near future) than any other guy I've ever known. He talks about how we should go camping up in Door County this summer. About how we should take vacation time from work at the same time so we can fly somewhere using his frequent flier miles. About how when my birthday (finally!!) falls on a weekend in like 2007, we should go out somewhere so I can get free endless beer. I mean really. 2007?!? It's barely 2005. *Sigh* I don't know what to do with him. Ok, yeah, I have some ideas but that's not really something I want to get into here...mind wandering...aaaaaaaahhhhh!.
Back to the subject at hand. I know, the easiest thing to do would just to broach the subject myself since apparently he has no intentions of bringing it up. It would be so much easier if I could read his mind. This is much more likely to turn out the way I'd like it to than the whole John thing was. I mean, this guy calls me. A lot. This guy takes me out places. In public. A lot. This guy doesn't have three kids. This guy isn't a psychotic loser. He has lots of things going for him. Sometimes I wish he weren't so adorable though. Ugh. I look at his eyes and I just melt. This is not good. Or is it? I don't know.
Anyway, Kmart scheduled me 6 hour days this weekend. Great. After scheduling me 10 hours in the last 3 weeks combined they suddenly decide to pile it on this weekend. It sucks. I don't want to work that much. And next weekend they have me there for 11. Ridiculous. At least they're not absolutely horrible hours. They're bearable and still leave me with time to have some fun. Poor Adam. I sure do like my fun. Hey, does that count as exercise? We were having this conversation (while we were both at work...oops...) this afternoon. I said it probably depended on how it was done. I suggested that he bench-press me...work his muscles...or perhaps prop me against the wall. He just told me to shut-up (nicely, of course) because he didn't want to be in an "uncomfortable position" for the remainder of his day. Who knew I could have such an effect on someone? >:)
But I'm sure that was a whole lot more than any of you wanted to know. :)
Yes. I'm fat. But feeling wonderful about my fatness because Adam tells me I'm not fat. Yeah, whatever.
Anyway, nothing much is happening here lately except for snow and more snow, melting snow, slushy snow, big puddles in the parking lot because of snow. Ugh. When is spring going to arrive? Any day now would be quite alright with me.
Adam invited me to have Easter dinner with his family next weekend. Ok, he actually said that his mother suggested that he invite me but that he was ok with the idea as well. Now what does that mean? Argh! This guy talks more about the future (and not just the relatively near future) than any other guy I've ever known. He talks about how we should go camping up in Door County this summer. About how we should take vacation time from work at the same time so we can fly somewhere using his frequent flier miles. About how when my birthday (finally!!) falls on a weekend in like 2007, we should go out somewhere so I can get free endless beer. I mean really. 2007?!? It's barely 2005. *Sigh* I don't know what to do with him. Ok, yeah, I have some ideas but that's not really something I want to get into here...mind wandering...aaaaaaaahhhhh!.
Back to the subject at hand. I know, the easiest thing to do would just to broach the subject myself since apparently he has no intentions of bringing it up. It would be so much easier if I could read his mind. This is much more likely to turn out the way I'd like it to than the whole John thing was. I mean, this guy calls me. A lot. This guy takes me out places. In public. A lot. This guy doesn't have three kids. This guy isn't a psychotic loser. He has lots of things going for him. Sometimes I wish he weren't so adorable though. Ugh. I look at his eyes and I just melt. This is not good. Or is it? I don't know.
Anyway, Kmart scheduled me 6 hour days this weekend. Great. After scheduling me 10 hours in the last 3 weeks combined they suddenly decide to pile it on this weekend. It sucks. I don't want to work that much. And next weekend they have me there for 11. Ridiculous. At least they're not absolutely horrible hours. They're bearable and still leave me with time to have some fun. Poor Adam. I sure do like my fun. Hey, does that count as exercise? We were having this conversation (while we were both at work...oops...) this afternoon. I said it probably depended on how it was done. I suggested that he bench-press me...work his muscles...or perhaps prop me against the wall. He just told me to shut-up (nicely, of course) because he didn't want to be in an "uncomfortable position" for the remainder of his day. Who knew I could have such an effect on someone? >:)
But I'm sure that was a whole lot more than any of you wanted to know. :)
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Big Sigh
So Friday was his birthday. As I understood it, the original plans involved me being his designated driver while he partied at various bars with various friends. What actually happened was we went to dinner, went to one bar alone, and I freaked out on the way home because I hate driving in snow and he ended up driving back to Oshkosh instead of me. Ugh. Stupid weather. I'm not sure what caused the change in plans, but whatever. It was fun anyway. He spent most of yesterday here too, just lazing around and watching movies. I got him Ladder 49 for his birthday and after I made him sit through How to Make an American Quilt (ie: very girly, man-bashing movie), I sat through his macho, fire-fighting, yet very depressing movie. It wasn't really as bad as I had anticipated. So that was good.
I'm still not sure what's going on. I know as a female I inherantly overthink things and find meanings in things that guys do when they actually mean nothing by them at all. Although this guy is particularly weird. He watched American Idol with me and it was kind of his idea. That's just odd. Anyway, back to things he's doing. At this point he has a toothbrush in my bathroom. He got a keychain that holds a picture and he's asked for a small picture of me to put into it. The other side of the keychain is a mirror so when he opens it up, he'd see me and him. The other night at the comedy club when the comedian made some crack about single people and asked if anyone in the crowd was single, he didn't clap or do anything of that sort. I don't know what to think.
On the other hand, I keep making comments about how I don't like dating and I constantly bash kids. It's almost uncontrollable now. I don't know why I do it. I don't think I would mind dating him. At this point, it's almost like I'm dating him anyway. It depends on one's definition of dating though. I don't see anyone else or do anything with anyone else. I don't really want to either. It's not like I don't have the opportunities. He did mentioned the fact that he noticed that he's the only one in his family to carry on his last name so he'd better have at least one kid - a boy. I'm not sure that's really a good reason to have kids. Sense of obligation or whatever that would be. But to each their own. He's also mentioned he has no plan to get married for at least another 5 or 6 years. I was going to comment that he might want to find the person to marry first and THEN start planning the actual wedding but I think that would have opened up some other topics of conversation.
I think I might be sending him mixed messages in that I thoroughly enjoy being with him and I think he's aware of that but I say things that might give him the idea that I don't want to be tied down to someone or date anyone. I always emphasize my desire for independence. That doesn't mean I want to be alone. Just not smothered. I don't want to become a Mrs. John Doe. I don't know. Man this sucks.
I'm still not sure what's going on. I know as a female I inherantly overthink things and find meanings in things that guys do when they actually mean nothing by them at all. Although this guy is particularly weird. He watched American Idol with me and it was kind of his idea. That's just odd. Anyway, back to things he's doing. At this point he has a toothbrush in my bathroom. He got a keychain that holds a picture and he's asked for a small picture of me to put into it. The other side of the keychain is a mirror so when he opens it up, he'd see me and him. The other night at the comedy club when the comedian made some crack about single people and asked if anyone in the crowd was single, he didn't clap or do anything of that sort. I don't know what to think.
On the other hand, I keep making comments about how I don't like dating and I constantly bash kids. It's almost uncontrollable now. I don't know why I do it. I don't think I would mind dating him. At this point, it's almost like I'm dating him anyway. It depends on one's definition of dating though. I don't see anyone else or do anything with anyone else. I don't really want to either. It's not like I don't have the opportunities. He did mentioned the fact that he noticed that he's the only one in his family to carry on his last name so he'd better have at least one kid - a boy. I'm not sure that's really a good reason to have kids. Sense of obligation or whatever that would be. But to each their own. He's also mentioned he has no plan to get married for at least another 5 or 6 years. I was going to comment that he might want to find the person to marry first and THEN start planning the actual wedding but I think that would have opened up some other topics of conversation.
I think I might be sending him mixed messages in that I thoroughly enjoy being with him and I think he's aware of that but I say things that might give him the idea that I don't want to be tied down to someone or date anyone. I always emphasize my desire for independence. That doesn't mean I want to be alone. Just not smothered. I don't want to become a Mrs. John Doe. I don't know. Man this sucks.
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Hey, Adam
So, he said something last night that leads me to believe that perhaps he looks at my website and perhaps even reads this blog. If this is the case, for the love of whatever you want to love, take the steps to relieve me of my confusion!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
In other news, I've spent my last few days in really boring training sessions. I'm looking forward to the comedy club tomorrow (we're going because he got a free ticket for his birthday or something...) His birthday is Friday, so it should be an interesting weekend. I hope. He hopes. We hope. :)
In other news, I've spent my last few days in really boring training sessions. I'm looking forward to the comedy club tomorrow (we're going because he got a free ticket for his birthday or something...) His birthday is Friday, so it should be an interesting weekend. I hope. He hopes. We hope. :)
Ok, I figured it out
Ha ha! So there! I figure out how to post pictures! The original picture is kind of huge so it looks weird sized. Oh well.
In any case, there is my new car (and me.) It was already pretty dirty though because of the stupid snow. Grrr. And stupid melting snow. Grrr again.
That's really all I intended to do in this post. I've got to get to work soon. More later. I'm sure.
Sunday, March 06, 2005
And the night plays on
Ok, I know this is probably a bad idea since I already posted once tonight slightly intoxicated and now I'm attempting to post again, a few hours (and more than a few beers) later. But here goes. I just wanted to let everyone know that pictures of my new car have now been posted on my website. Oh yeah, and the picture of the hideous hickey I got today is there too. *sigh* men...
Also, I stepped on my glasses today and they're bent to hell. Great...
Also, I stepped on my glasses today and they're bent to hell. Great...
Aaah, the confusion
OK, I don't get it. He came over last night, we rented some movies, he fell asleep during the movie (Meet the Parents), he woke up, other activities ensued, and eventually he camped out on the futon while I slept in my bed. This is not problem as he snores like a lumberjack and runs the risk of smothering me in my sleep since he rolls around erratically. I much prefer my big bed and my non life-threatening stuffed animals. Anyway, today I slept until about 10 and then I moved out into the living room where he was watching the movie we watched last night (ok, so the movie I watched last night and he fell asleep during last night.) We actually watched the whole movie this time. After that we watched the second movie we rented (The Waterboy) while I did my laundry. Once again, other activities distracted us from watching the whole movie in one sitting. Then we walked for about an hour and a half over to Wal-Mart and back and he put RainX on my car while I made dinner. While we were walking, he brought up the subject of his most recent girlfriend. At least I think she was his girlfriend. I'm not sure. When I first met him, it was right before he started seeing her. I know her because I work with her at Kmart and she was asking me all kinds of questions about him. Apparently the reason he stopped talking to me all of the sudden was because she didn't want him talking to me because she saw me as a threat. Why did he tell me this? Did he see me as a threat as well? At that point I really had no interest in him. When she asked me if I would ever consider dating him, I said no - he was too tall for me. I also really didn't know him that well. Apparently that wasn't good enough for her and she forbade him from talking to me. But when I got the internet back at my house and he started talking to me again he indicated that he was still seeing her. But he was seeing other people as well. As was she. This confused me. I mean, I'm no professional at this whole dating and relationships thing, but I think if you bother to call someone a girl/boyfriend, it seems to me that you should see some kind of future with the person and have some kind of exclusivity clause. If you're going to fuck around with numerous people, why bother "dating?" UGH!
I just don't get it.
I think it's been made extraordinarily clear to him that there are other guys out there that want me. I mean, 3 or 4 guys have been messaging me constantly - while he's here. It's not like he doesn't know that I'm blowing them all off to be with him. And if he hasn't noticed, he's denser than I thought. But I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Tonight he experienced - how should I say it - some "performance anxiety" - which he blamed on his cousin. His cousin called him last night after returning home from a date that didn't go too well. I told him it didn't really bother me too much. It's not like I get off from that anways - which brought up an entirely different subject. Uck! In any case, he left about an hour ago under the pretense that he has to lector at church tomorrow and needs his sleep. Yeah. Ok. He called me about 10 minutes ago to tell me that he has the biggest hard-on ever right now. Like I want to know that? MEN!!!
I apologize if this post makes no sense. I've been drinking a bit tonight. And with that, I bid this post adieu.
I just don't get it.
I think it's been made extraordinarily clear to him that there are other guys out there that want me. I mean, 3 or 4 guys have been messaging me constantly - while he's here. It's not like he doesn't know that I'm blowing them all off to be with him. And if he hasn't noticed, he's denser than I thought. But I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Tonight he experienced - how should I say it - some "performance anxiety" - which he blamed on his cousin. His cousin called him last night after returning home from a date that didn't go too well. I told him it didn't really bother me too much. It's not like I get off from that anways - which brought up an entirely different subject. Uck! In any case, he left about an hour ago under the pretense that he has to lector at church tomorrow and needs his sleep. Yeah. Ok. He called me about 10 minutes ago to tell me that he has the biggest hard-on ever right now. Like I want to know that? MEN!!!
I apologize if this post makes no sense. I've been drinking a bit tonight. And with that, I bid this post adieu.
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Interpreting Male Actions
Ok, so I'll be the first to admit I have no idea what guys think about at any point of their lives. I don't know why they do or don't do certain things. I have absolutely no expertise in that area at all and have no right to try and explain these things. That's why I'm putting this out here for those of you that might have the inside scoop (ie: you guys out there.)
We went bowling last night. He calls me up around 6 and says, "Wanna go bowling?" I ask who else will be there and his first response is "As long as I'M there, does it matter who else comes?" Then he responded that a few of his friends would be there as well as his cousin. Ok. This would be a good chance to meet a few of "his people" and see how he reacts to me when in the company of other people. People he knows. We were originally going to stop by his grandma's house (where his cousin lives) for a bit before heading over to the bowling alley, but when he came to pick me up I distracted him a little...ahem...so we were running a little late...We still stopped by to pick his cousin up, but I didn't meet his grandma. She sounded nice though. :)
Aside from the constant references to the fun they had while they were wasted and the boring conversations about every sport imaginable and how they were going to kick each other's asses at them all, his friends seem pretty nice. They all seem to work at Wal-mart too. They all seem to be younger than he is too, which is kind of...I don't know. We had fun and I almost won the first game. I beat everyone but his cousin...and he pulled that one out of his ass in the last frame with a strike.
I don't know how to interpret his actions throughout the evening. I don't know if I should. He introduced me as "some girl from Oshkosh." His cousin seemed to know I existed previously. When I would go bowl, he (not his cousin) would take my chair and then have me sit on his lap. At one point, he flipped me over and just started making out with me, picking me up off the ground. He snuck up behind me and slapped my butt (really hard, I might add. That hurts!) when I was about the throw the ball. Randomly throughout the evening he'd pinch my butt...or grab my boob...or pick me up and kiss me...I don't know what that was all about. We left before anyone else did and on the way home he stated he didn't really like the fact that these random people (his cousin's wal-mart co-workers) showed up and joined our game. I thought he knew everyone there, but apparently there were 4 people there he didn't know.
I don't know how to react to this stuff. I don't know if he's just doing this to show people that he can get some or whether he does it because he likes me and it's fun...I suppose I'll have to ask him eventually.
We went bowling last night. He calls me up around 6 and says, "Wanna go bowling?" I ask who else will be there and his first response is "As long as I'M there, does it matter who else comes?" Then he responded that a few of his friends would be there as well as his cousin. Ok. This would be a good chance to meet a few of "his people" and see how he reacts to me when in the company of other people. People he knows. We were originally going to stop by his grandma's house (where his cousin lives) for a bit before heading over to the bowling alley, but when he came to pick me up I distracted him a little...ahem...so we were running a little late...We still stopped by to pick his cousin up, but I didn't meet his grandma. She sounded nice though. :)
Aside from the constant references to the fun they had while they were wasted and the boring conversations about every sport imaginable and how they were going to kick each other's asses at them all, his friends seem pretty nice. They all seem to work at Wal-mart too. They all seem to be younger than he is too, which is kind of...I don't know. We had fun and I almost won the first game. I beat everyone but his cousin...and he pulled that one out of his ass in the last frame with a strike.
I don't know how to interpret his actions throughout the evening. I don't know if I should. He introduced me as "some girl from Oshkosh." His cousin seemed to know I existed previously. When I would go bowl, he (not his cousin) would take my chair and then have me sit on his lap. At one point, he flipped me over and just started making out with me, picking me up off the ground. He snuck up behind me and slapped my butt (really hard, I might add. That hurts!) when I was about the throw the ball. Randomly throughout the evening he'd pinch my butt...or grab my boob...or pick me up and kiss me...I don't know what that was all about. We left before anyone else did and on the way home he stated he didn't really like the fact that these random people (his cousin's wal-mart co-workers) showed up and joined our game. I thought he knew everyone there, but apparently there were 4 people there he didn't know.
I don't know how to react to this stuff. I don't know if he's just doing this to show people that he can get some or whether he does it because he likes me and it's fun...I suppose I'll have to ask him eventually.
Monday, February 28, 2005
If it doesn't stop snowing pretty soon...
...I swear I'm going to have to hurt someone. It's been snowing pretty much non-stop since yesterday morning. I dislike snow immensly.
Well, I still look out the window, see my car, and giggle. I think it was starting to annoy Adam (that is, it would have be annoying to him if ANYTHING was annoying to him) because I kept going "hee hee" and bouncing around. It's just so cool. :D
And anyways, I am annoying...all the time...he SHOULD be annoyed with me sometimes.
Nothing else has happened really. I don't work at all at Kmart next weekend. I'm not complaining. I just learned that the "manager" I really can't stand because she's bossy and annoys the crap out of me has taken over my manager's position and he has transferred to another store. This may be a good time to get out while I'm still sane. I figure one of two things will happen. Either she'll get on my nerves to such an extent that I blow up at her in all my redhead glory and end up getting fired or I go out quietly by quitting. On the other hand, she's is knocked up, so I can always hope she takes a long maternity leave and the decides to be a SAHM. Or perhaps dies in labor. Ok, strike that last one. That's a little too evil. :)
Okey-dokey. Back to work. Woo!
Well, I still look out the window, see my car, and giggle. I think it was starting to annoy Adam (that is, it would have be annoying to him if ANYTHING was annoying to him) because I kept going "hee hee" and bouncing around. It's just so cool. :D
And anyways, I am annoying...all the time...he SHOULD be annoyed with me sometimes.
Nothing else has happened really. I don't work at all at Kmart next weekend. I'm not complaining. I just learned that the "manager" I really can't stand because she's bossy and annoys the crap out of me has taken over my manager's position and he has transferred to another store. This may be a good time to get out while I'm still sane. I figure one of two things will happen. Either she'll get on my nerves to such an extent that I blow up at her in all my redhead glory and end up getting fired or I go out quietly by quitting. On the other hand, she's is knocked up, so I can always hope she takes a long maternity leave and the decides to be a SAHM. Or perhaps dies in labor. Ok, strike that last one. That's a little too evil. :)
Okey-dokey. Back to work. Woo!
Saturday, February 26, 2005
Aah, the new car smell...
---- Around 7PM ----
So the new car has arrived. I went to the dealership this afternoon, listened to a bunch of bs sales pitches about warranties I didn't want and finally got to get in the car and drive home, giving my Saturn the finger on the way out. Keyless entry and power locks rock! This car has a 6 disc CD player too. Kick ass! It is going to take some time to get used to a car that actually, uhm, accelerates when you step on the gas pedal and turns when you turn the steering wheel. And I think I'm going to have to come up with a different name than I gave most of my other cars. "Piece of Shit" definately won't work. Heh.
So, that was the high point of my weekend. Didn't do much last night. Went to "Hitch" was an ok movie. For anyone who was seen it, about 2 minutes after the "Sara" character was introduced, I leaned over to Adam and said "man, she's just like me," And he said, "yeah, I know." It was an interesting movie. We stopped at the Texas Roadhouse for some dinner (another interesting place) and then just came back home and went to bed. Lazed around most of the morning here. And now he's baking bread. Yes. Seriously. He's pounding away at it in the kitchen as I type. Hmmm.
----- Later on ------
Not sure what's going on yet. Don't know when I will. I mean, last night in the movie theater he kept leaning over and kissing me. In public. Do guys usually do that? I admit, I don't exactly have the best benchmarks in that area, but geesh. I don't get it. We went to the mall today and walked around for awhile. I think he likes shopping more than I do.
I don't know. I'm confused. We were watching a movie tonight. Whenever we watch a movie here one of two things happen. First, one of us gets distracted and eventually distracts the other person to the point that neither of us is watching the movie anyway. Second, I watch the movie, he lays down and puts his head in my lap and falls asleep. And snores (although if you ask him, he'll swear he doesn't snore.) The second choice is what happened tonight. Granted, we rented a movie he'd already seen. The thing is, it doesn't bother me that he uses me as a pillow and snores throughout the movie.
Tonight must be "let's beg Martha for pity sex" night or something. I swear, at least 3 people have been IMing me constantly complaining about how they never get laid. Like it's my problem/fault. Geesh. Get lives people! It's getting ridiculous. I've got one guy telling me he's going to come to Kmart and basically assault me by throwing me up against a wall and kissing me. Another guy is complaining about how he needs sex and wishes I were there now (presumably to help him out with that.) A third guy is mooning over the fact that he never got the chance to tell me how much he wanted me in person. UGH! Was there a time when I actually found this kind of shit amusing? I think I'm going to have to start blocking some people. For my own sanity's sake.
Ok, that's enough for tonight. Time for bed.
So the new car has arrived. I went to the dealership this afternoon, listened to a bunch of bs sales pitches about warranties I didn't want and finally got to get in the car and drive home, giving my Saturn the finger on the way out. Keyless entry and power locks rock! This car has a 6 disc CD player too. Kick ass! It is going to take some time to get used to a car that actually, uhm, accelerates when you step on the gas pedal and turns when you turn the steering wheel. And I think I'm going to have to come up with a different name than I gave most of my other cars. "Piece of Shit" definately won't work. Heh.
So, that was the high point of my weekend. Didn't do much last night. Went to "Hitch" was an ok movie. For anyone who was seen it, about 2 minutes after the "Sara" character was introduced, I leaned over to Adam and said "man, she's just like me," And he said, "yeah, I know." It was an interesting movie. We stopped at the Texas Roadhouse for some dinner (another interesting place) and then just came back home and went to bed. Lazed around most of the morning here. And now he's baking bread. Yes. Seriously. He's pounding away at it in the kitchen as I type. Hmmm.
----- Later on ------
Not sure what's going on yet. Don't know when I will. I mean, last night in the movie theater he kept leaning over and kissing me. In public. Do guys usually do that? I admit, I don't exactly have the best benchmarks in that area, but geesh. I don't get it. We went to the mall today and walked around for awhile. I think he likes shopping more than I do.
I don't know. I'm confused. We were watching a movie tonight. Whenever we watch a movie here one of two things happen. First, one of us gets distracted and eventually distracts the other person to the point that neither of us is watching the movie anyway. Second, I watch the movie, he lays down and puts his head in my lap and falls asleep. And snores (although if you ask him, he'll swear he doesn't snore.) The second choice is what happened tonight. Granted, we rented a movie he'd already seen. The thing is, it doesn't bother me that he uses me as a pillow and snores throughout the movie.
Tonight must be "let's beg Martha for pity sex" night or something. I swear, at least 3 people have been IMing me constantly complaining about how they never get laid. Like it's my problem/fault. Geesh. Get lives people! It's getting ridiculous. I've got one guy telling me he's going to come to Kmart and basically assault me by throwing me up against a wall and kissing me. Another guy is complaining about how he needs sex and wishes I were there now (presumably to help him out with that.) A third guy is mooning over the fact that he never got the chance to tell me how much he wanted me in person. UGH! Was there a time when I actually found this kind of shit amusing? I think I'm going to have to start blocking some people. For my own sanity's sake.
Ok, that's enough for tonight. Time for bed.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
Hmm...
So, we revisited the Toyota dealership this afternoon/evening to get an appraisal on my trade-in. They're going to give me $2,300 for that piece of crap! I was highly surprised and pleased. I figure what they don't know won't hurt them :) Plus they're knocking off another couple hundred the price "just cuz" and bringing it to $100 over invoice. I'm pleased. I should have the car by Friday evening or Saturday morning. Yay. Go to hell, Saturn!
On to more perplexing things. So, after the dealership stay (which turned into about 2 hours when it was all said and done) we stopped at KFC for some dinner and took it back to his house. For the first time, his parents were there. They had always been at work or asleep or on vacation when I was there before. They seem nice enough. His mom walked into the kitchen, looked at me, and said, "Martha, right?" Hmmm. Does this mean he talks about me to his parents? Interesting. Of course, this could just be me being psycho again.
Another point to ponder: the other night we were chatting online and talking about weird dreams. I told him I always preferred dirty dreams to just plain weird ones. He confessed that he's had a recurring dirty dream that involves me. But he won't tell me what it is. I threatened to torture it out of him and all he could say is, "That might be fun." I'll make him tell me someday. But in the meantime, I'm dying of curiousity.
On to more perplexing things. So, after the dealership stay (which turned into about 2 hours when it was all said and done) we stopped at KFC for some dinner and took it back to his house. For the first time, his parents were there. They had always been at work or asleep or on vacation when I was there before. They seem nice enough. His mom walked into the kitchen, looked at me, and said, "Martha, right?" Hmmm. Does this mean he talks about me to his parents? Interesting. Of course, this could just be me being psycho again.
Another point to ponder: the other night we were chatting online and talking about weird dreams. I told him I always preferred dirty dreams to just plain weird ones. He confessed that he's had a recurring dirty dream that involves me. But he won't tell me what it is. I threatened to torture it out of him and all he could say is, "That might be fun." I'll make him tell me someday. But in the meantime, I'm dying of curiousity.
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Woo
So, we're going up to the dealership this afternoon to let them take a look at my Saturn and give me a trade-in value. Hopefully I'll have the new car by Saturday. 2005 Toyota Corolla LE in Indigo Ink Pearl (Bright Blue)
I can't figure out how to post the damn picture. It's in my photobucket album though.
Well, Ive got to get to work now.
I can't figure out how to post the damn picture. It's in my photobucket album though.
Well, Ive got to get to work now.
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Ouch
Yeah, so I threw my back out this weekend. Not even doing anything fun, although maybe I should tell people it was so it's a better story. Truth is, I'm not sure what happened. Was just sitting there on the futon, got up, went crack and was in extreme pain. Spent most of yesterday on my back - once again, not in a fun way. Ugh. Today was better, but still painful. Yay drugs!
So, why is nobody commenting on any of my posts. It leads me to believe either no one reads this, no one cares what I'm writing, or what I'm writing is so dumb that no one can bring themselves to comment on it. In any case, get on it people! Why do you think I activated comments and ask questions? They're not ALL rhetorical. And even if you do answer one that was meant to be rhetorical, it will still be entertaining because then I can make fun of you.
Anywho, I got the new monitor last night. Tooks pics of it which are now on my website. You'll notice the photo album now bounces you to photobucket. I'm trying to get as much crap off the geocities server so I can do more with the website. Eventually.
But for now, back to cold pizza, beer, and brain-numbing tv.
Comment!!!! Comment!!!
So, why is nobody commenting on any of my posts. It leads me to believe either no one reads this, no one cares what I'm writing, or what I'm writing is so dumb that no one can bring themselves to comment on it. In any case, get on it people! Why do you think I activated comments and ask questions? They're not ALL rhetorical. And even if you do answer one that was meant to be rhetorical, it will still be entertaining because then I can make fun of you.
Anywho, I got the new monitor last night. Tooks pics of it which are now on my website. You'll notice the photo album now bounces you to photobucket. I'm trying to get as much crap off the geocities server so I can do more with the website. Eventually.
But for now, back to cold pizza, beer, and brain-numbing tv.
Comment!!!! Comment!!!
Thursday, February 17, 2005
How are fortune cookies so smart?
So, we ordered Chinese last night and you always get a fortune cookie along with the other, artery clogging food (but no MSG!) So, we actually got three. We both opened one last night and then I opened the third one this morning. Ok, so my forture last night read something like "You tend to not let people see the real you." (I can't find it right now. Perhaps I threw it away... My fortune this morning says "Change is happening in your life, so go with the flow." What is that about? *sigh*
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
I had a dream last night
It was weird. I don't know quite what it means. Background info - guy from previous entry told me if he couldn't sleep or woke up early, he'd call me and maybe come over.
Anyway, so, in my dream, I wake up and check my cell phone to see if he's called me. He hasn't, but I do have a text message from him. It says something like "____ has had a car accident. He was on his way to visit his girlfriend when he lost control of his car. He is ok, but broke both his legs." I start panicking and call him. He answers, sounding all drugged up. I ask him how he is and he says "fine." It's at about this time I realize that there was a mention of a girlfriend. Was this me? Then I realized he hadn't called me, so why would he be on his way here. Then I think - perhaps he has a girlfriend and hadn't told me? So I ask him, "Do you have a girlfriend?" No answer. I ask again. Then I get mad. "Who is she? Where does she live?" I ask. He still says nothing. At about this point, I'm in my college dorm for some reason and I bump into my former roommate (the crappy one who ran off with her ugly-ass internet boyfriend) and I drop a ton of quarters all over for some reason. My phone loses the signal and hangs up. I get up to my room and call him back. Someone else (his dad, presumably) answers the phone. I ask to speak to ___. He says "He's not here. He just went out for a bit." I say "Bullshit. He's got two broken legs! Where the hell would he be going? Let me talk to him." So he gets on the phone and I ask him again, "Who is this girlfriend?" He tells me that his dad sent that text message to me but, yes, he does have a girlfriend, but things weren't going so well between them. I told him I was tired of being the other woman. He needed to decide whether he wanted to try and salvage that relationship or end that and be more committed to me. I said it like I didn't really care which one he chose, when really, I wanted him to choose me.
Then I woke up.
What the hell do you suppose that means?
Anyway, so, in my dream, I wake up and check my cell phone to see if he's called me. He hasn't, but I do have a text message from him. It says something like "____ has had a car accident. He was on his way to visit his girlfriend when he lost control of his car. He is ok, but broke both his legs." I start panicking and call him. He answers, sounding all drugged up. I ask him how he is and he says "fine." It's at about this time I realize that there was a mention of a girlfriend. Was this me? Then I realized he hadn't called me, so why would he be on his way here. Then I think - perhaps he has a girlfriend and hadn't told me? So I ask him, "Do you have a girlfriend?" No answer. I ask again. Then I get mad. "Who is she? Where does she live?" I ask. He still says nothing. At about this point, I'm in my college dorm for some reason and I bump into my former roommate (the crappy one who ran off with her ugly-ass internet boyfriend) and I drop a ton of quarters all over for some reason. My phone loses the signal and hangs up. I get up to my room and call him back. Someone else (his dad, presumably) answers the phone. I ask to speak to ___. He says "He's not here. He just went out for a bit." I say "Bullshit. He's got two broken legs! Where the hell would he be going? Let me talk to him." So he gets on the phone and I ask him again, "Who is this girlfriend?" He tells me that his dad sent that text message to me but, yes, he does have a girlfriend, but things weren't going so well between them. I told him I was tired of being the other woman. He needed to decide whether he wanted to try and salvage that relationship or end that and be more committed to me. I said it like I didn't really care which one he chose, when really, I wanted him to choose me.
Then I woke up.
What the hell do you suppose that means?
Monday, February 14, 2005
So, another Valentine's Day...
In honor of Valentine's Day I will write this entire post in a hideous shade of red.
So, I sit here, alone, in my pajamas, spending yet another Valentine's Day alone, single, and doing nothing. Wait, I take that back. Two years ago I conned John into taking me out. This only worked because he forgot that it was Valentine's Day until he tried to find some restaurant that wasn't packed. He proceeded to get crabby and finally just pulled into whatever place came next. It happened to be a pretty good Chinese place. He messed with his rings and somehow managed to make his finger swell up and had to yank his ring off, make a big scene for ice, complain, complain. He then made a big deal out of how he hurt himself and I don't even think I got laid...don't remember...*sigh* Those were the good days. And I wonder why he never took me anywhere? But that is all in the past.
As for the present/future, who knows? I know I'm just trying to ignore my current situation. I have a guy who I really seem to enjoy being around. I think he enjoys my company too. I just don't want to misinterpret things and mess things up. This kind of goes against the premise of our entire relationship. I came into it with my "I don't date, I like being a free agent having my independence" and he was good with that. But now, I don't know. He calls me everyday, he e-mails me multiple times a day, he has been over here almost everyday. This should annoy me. But it doesn't.
This concerns me.
I don't know why I like him so much. There are so many reasons why I should run away screaming. But I'm not. Why am I not running? This is what I want to know. Argh. I mean, I'm on the phone with him right now. Talking about some TV show where some guy lit a firework on July 4th and blew his balls off. Yeah. And I don't even care what we're talking about. *sigh*
So messed up.
So, I sit here, alone, in my pajamas, spending yet another Valentine's Day alone, single, and doing nothing. Wait, I take that back. Two years ago I conned John into taking me out. This only worked because he forgot that it was Valentine's Day until he tried to find some restaurant that wasn't packed. He proceeded to get crabby and finally just pulled into whatever place came next. It happened to be a pretty good Chinese place. He messed with his rings and somehow managed to make his finger swell up and had to yank his ring off, make a big scene for ice, complain, complain. He then made a big deal out of how he hurt himself and I don't even think I got laid...don't remember...*sigh* Those were the good days. And I wonder why he never took me anywhere? But that is all in the past.
As for the present/future, who knows? I know I'm just trying to ignore my current situation. I have a guy who I really seem to enjoy being around. I think he enjoys my company too. I just don't want to misinterpret things and mess things up. This kind of goes against the premise of our entire relationship. I came into it with my "I don't date, I like being a free agent having my independence" and he was good with that. But now, I don't know. He calls me everyday, he e-mails me multiple times a day, he has been over here almost everyday. This should annoy me. But it doesn't.
This concerns me.
I don't know why I like him so much. There are so many reasons why I should run away screaming. But I'm not. Why am I not running? This is what I want to know. Argh. I mean, I'm on the phone with him right now. Talking about some TV show where some guy lit a firework on July 4th and blew his balls off. Yeah. And I don't even care what we're talking about. *sigh*
So messed up.
Friday, February 11, 2005
Wow. This is ridiculous. How can an entire week go by and I find I've accomplished nothing? Well, ok, last night I washed my sheets from my bed (which had been sitting on the floor for about 3 weeks), did my dishes (not quite 3 weeks there, but still...a while...) and went grocery shopping. More like "beer shopping" since 1/2 of my purchase was Miller Lite. I don't know. I get the feeling I'm sounding like a broken record. I keep saying this. But seriously. Where does the time go? I'm only at work for 8 hours. There are 24 hours in a day. Even if I slept for 10 (trusting my math is correct), I should theoretically still have 6 hours there to do stuff. And one would think that a lot could be accomplished in this 6 hours. It's not like I'm watching a lot of tv. I'm not even online chatting. I don't know what I'm doing. I could blame it on Adam. Watching movies consumes a lot of time I suppose. I don't know. I have issues.
So, I've been officially employed full-time for a month now. It's still not bad. I'm used to the hour lunch now and I wonder how I ever went without it. :) Some days seem to drag on endlessly, but others flit by so fast. I'm still up in the air about Kmart. I like working there (sometimes) and extra money is always nice, but working 7 days a week sucks. And I'm doing it voluntarily. They keep scheduling me full 8 1/2 hour days. No! I want like 4 hours in the morning. None of this 12:30-9 shit. Ugh. We'll see. That's all I can say.
So, I've been officially employed full-time for a month now. It's still not bad. I'm used to the hour lunch now and I wonder how I ever went without it. :) Some days seem to drag on endlessly, but others flit by so fast. I'm still up in the air about Kmart. I like working there (sometimes) and extra money is always nice, but working 7 days a week sucks. And I'm doing it voluntarily. They keep scheduling me full 8 1/2 hour days. No! I want like 4 hours in the morning. None of this 12:30-9 shit. Ugh. We'll see. That's all I can say.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Happy Birthday to Me!!
Ya know, it's weird. I think more people have said in person/e-mailed/given a card "Happy Birthday" to me today than did that same thing for my last 5 birthdays combined. I feel so popular...It's kind of odd. I spent all day at work today. A long day, let me tell you. I'm going out in a bit but I'm not sure exactly what we're doing for the evening. I know I'm shorting myself sleep. I've been doing that for about two weeks straight now. It's dumb and I know it's going to catch up with me, but I find myself continually doing fun stuff and sleeping just seems to waste time.
Ooh, I got my new TV last night. 27" flat screen with surround sound. Fancy, eh? It's better than the crappy 13", that's for sure. Funnily enough, my antenna doesn't work on it. So I have this big, high quality TV and I can't watch TV on it. But with the little TV in the bedroom I now get FIVE channels. Yep, five! In addition to the FOX, NBC, PBS, and religious channel (which I have a feeling would come in even WITHOUT the antenna), I now get UPN as well. Woo! Eventually I suppose I'll end up getting cable. It really doesn't seem worth the money though. *sigh* Decisions.
I also received my health insurance card this afternoon so it's time to do everything I've been putting off for the the last...hmm...5 years. First stop is the eye doctor. I would like to try contacts, but I'm afraid that I've spent so much time with glasses that it would just be too weird to have a naked face. Plus, I have no eyebrows. I'll have to continue to think about that. I should probably go to a general doctor of some sort to get a check-up of some kind since I haven't been to a doctor of any kind in quite a few years. The thing is, I feel pretty ok. I figure if something is wrong, my body would tell me. And if there IS something wrong and my body feels like keeping it to itself for the time being, who am I to argue? I'd really rather not now what's coming...And I hate doctors. And drugs.
And with that, I will go enjoy being 23...
Ooh, I got my new TV last night. 27" flat screen with surround sound. Fancy, eh? It's better than the crappy 13", that's for sure. Funnily enough, my antenna doesn't work on it. So I have this big, high quality TV and I can't watch TV on it. But with the little TV in the bedroom I now get FIVE channels. Yep, five! In addition to the FOX, NBC, PBS, and religious channel (which I have a feeling would come in even WITHOUT the antenna), I now get UPN as well. Woo! Eventually I suppose I'll end up getting cable. It really doesn't seem worth the money though. *sigh* Decisions.
I also received my health insurance card this afternoon so it's time to do everything I've been putting off for the the last...hmm...5 years. First stop is the eye doctor. I would like to try contacts, but I'm afraid that I've spent so much time with glasses that it would just be too weird to have a naked face. Plus, I have no eyebrows. I'll have to continue to think about that. I should probably go to a general doctor of some sort to get a check-up of some kind since I haven't been to a doctor of any kind in quite a few years. The thing is, I feel pretty ok. I figure if something is wrong, my body would tell me. And if there IS something wrong and my body feels like keeping it to itself for the time being, who am I to argue? I'd really rather not now what's coming...And I hate doctors. And drugs.
And with that, I will go enjoy being 23...
Monday, February 07, 2005
What? Monday already?
I swear, I don't know where the time goes. And I don't really have too much time to be writing this since I have to go to work in about 5 minutes. This whole working everyday thing is getting on my nerves. I suppose I'll have to do something about it eventually. Hmm...Deja Vu? I think I've said that before. Weird...
Anyway...
Aside from that, nothing else is happening. I lead a very boring life. My neighbors are still annoying the crap out of me. Stupid punk little boys and their scary mother and her scary male friends who drive shitty cars (and park waaaay too close to my car.)
Oh yeah, almost forgot - I paid off my car so as soon as I get the release of lien thingy, I can go get a new one! Woo!
And with that, off to work I go.
Anyway...
Aside from that, nothing else is happening. I lead a very boring life. My neighbors are still annoying the crap out of me. Stupid punk little boys and their scary mother and her scary male friends who drive shitty cars (and park waaaay too close to my car.)
Oh yeah, almost forgot - I paid off my car so as soon as I get the release of lien thingy, I can go get a new one! Woo!
And with that, off to work I go.
Thursday, February 03, 2005
My head is exploding
Have you ever had one of those days when you know you're doing stuff, but you seem to accomplish absolutely nothing? Well, I just had one of those. Dammit, I'm going to be dreaming about trace IDs and why the inventory isn't reconciling. I hate cost accounting. Add to that the fact that the faucet of my bathtub has stopped working and it basically runs continuously. Argh. But I don't want to call the maintenance people. They scare me. Fortunately, Adam informs me that he's good with his hands (ahem) and has volunteered to come down and take a look at it. Experience perhaps should tell me to be wary since it was he who erased the hard drive on my computer while rebuilding it. Hmmm. What's the worst that could happen? My apartment under water I suppose...but it's worth the risk. (I hope... :) Just kidding Adam, I have confidence in your abilities to do whatever it is you plan on doing.)
My head hurts. My neck hurts. My back hurts. I think I need to sleep more. I've been shorting myself on that for damn near a week now. Stupid internet. Stupid people. Argh.
I think that's all I'll say for now. There are a lot of things on my mind right now but I don't think I want to turn them into public musings quite yet. I don't really know who reads this on a regular basis...
My head hurts. My neck hurts. My back hurts. I think I need to sleep more. I've been shorting myself on that for damn near a week now. Stupid internet. Stupid people. Argh.
I think that's all I'll say for now. There are a lot of things on my mind right now but I don't think I want to turn them into public musings quite yet. I don't really know who reads this on a regular basis...
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
It's February. Argh.
One week...
So...I got a new computer. Ok, so, I had a new computer BUILT for me. And I had my hard drive completely erased. Oops. Oh well. It's much faster now and I have a CD burner. Too bad all the stuff I had planned to burn is gone now. *Sigh*
I've been doing absolutely nothing lately. I seriously don't know where the time goes. I just sit around and my life passes me by. It's kind of depressing, but I'm really enjoying my free time. Eventually I'll have to get off my ass and get a life. Meh. But not tonight.
I'll see how long I decide to keep up this blog rather than posting directly on my site.
So...I got a new computer. Ok, so, I had a new computer BUILT for me. And I had my hard drive completely erased. Oops. Oh well. It's much faster now and I have a CD burner. Too bad all the stuff I had planned to burn is gone now. *Sigh*
I've been doing absolutely nothing lately. I seriously don't know where the time goes. I just sit around and my life passes me by. It's kind of depressing, but I'm really enjoying my free time. Eventually I'll have to get off my ass and get a life. Meh. But not tonight.
I'll see how long I decide to keep up this blog rather than posting directly on my site.
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Janaury 2005
Friday, January 28, 2005
I have the internet back at my apartment. Yay! Too bad my computer is hella slow. I think it's time for an upgrade. Luckily, I have connections within the computer nerd world. ;) Adam just called me and apparently we're going shopping for parts tonight. Other than that, there's not much going on. I'm still working and doing nothing else. I sit at home and do nothing a lot. I'm not sleeping as much though, which is good considering I had started falling asleep around 8 every night.
Woo hoo. 11 days until my birthday. Ha ha.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
So, I will be having the internet installed at my apartment next Wednesday. *sigh* Why does it take so long? Stupid cable company. The cable guy had better be cute.
Speaking of cute guys, there's this new place called "Geek Squad" or something. I must go there for some reason. If you have a computer problem, let me go there and ask about it. My perception is that this is a whole building with nothing but geeky computer nerds. In other words, this is my Mecca. Come to me my computer nerds!!!
In other news, damn, is it cold! And now it's snowing. Ugh. Thank goodness I have a fridge full of beer, a freezer full of mozzerella sticks and a shelf full of new DVDs. Yes. I went shopping this weekend and bought about 5 times more movies than I did clothes. Grrr. I make myself mad sometimes.
Thursday, January 13, 2005
So, my first week as a worker in the "real world" is almost over. Yay me. It has been fun thus far. A lot of new information and reports. The people I work with are all very nice and they are all kind of wacked just like me. It works. Sometimes I can't believe I get paid to do the stuff I do. *sigh*
In other news...wait...there is no other news. I haven't been doing much after work. Just kind of bumming around my apartment. Doing some cleaning up and such. I need a freakin' hobby. Unfortunately, I have the feeling my hobby of choice would involve nakedness...
Thursday, January 6, 2005
This week has been very boring. I keep falling asleep on my futon, watching bad television. When did I lose all motivation to do, well, anything? Granted, the weather hasn't been especially conducive to accomplishing great things, but, geesh! I'm giving professional slackers a run for their money.
I suppose one of the things I could be doing instead of sitting in Radford right now is trying to find that damn Time Warner Cable office. I swear that thing doesn't exist. I have the address. I know where it SHOULD be. But either I'm blind or it's not there. I'd much rather go in and talk to them in person, but I get the feeling I'm going to have to resort to calling them pretty soon. If anyone knows where the place is, please let me know. I feel like a retard, not being able to locate it. Plus, I want the internet back in my house so I can do naked dances in front of the webcam. (kidding...)
I suppose I could insert a "Happy Two Year Anniversary" to my website here. Yup, it's been up here and providing, uhm, entertainment to the masses for two years now. Amazing how much crap one person can go through in two years, eh? Sometimes I go back and read the archives of this here diary thingy and just laugh. Especially when the entry is about John. Aah, what a fucked up relationship that is. *Sigh* Thing is, it will never change. It will always be seriously fucked up. And that's annoying. Argh. He actually did call me last night though. That was impressive. (I must note that he called to tell me he wasn't going to come over - which he had promised to do earlier this week - but hey, at least he called, right?) I told him I take what I can get. This prompted some slightly rude comment from him that shall not be repeated here. Fortunately, I knew he was (kinda) kidding. It's such a weird dynamic. Meh.
Enough of that. Where did that come from. Stupid subconscious connections.
Well I suppose I'll head home and put my chicken in the oven. Yay. I'm cooking this evening. I like cooking. And eating. Obviously. Man, I need to start working out. John started working out again apparently. He had me feel his arm. Mmmm.
Dammit.
Ok, I'm leaving now before this gets out of hand.
Monday, January 3, 2005
Today I started my last week at Presto. It's kind of sad in a way. I've been there for so long, it's going to be weird to be working somewhere else. But I think it will be fun. It's time for a change and all that. I'm starting to get my life all in the new order. I plan to get the internet in my house in the next week or so, so that will be nice. No cable tv though. Don't need that. I'm also investigating a new car. If anyone has suggestions as to what kind I should be looking for, feel free to let me know. I don't plan to actually buy one until about April, so I've got time to research (assuming my current car doesn't clunk out on me before then. Ack!) Sigh. So many things I could/should be doing right now. I just have no inspiration to do any of them. I'm getting a cold. I just want to go home and take a nap. Unfortunately, I've got my final BAP meeting. Ever. *Sob* I get to hand over the reins (ie, box of thank-you cards) to the next secretary. Woo. And then I can go home and take aforementioned nap. :) Bleh. That's all I've got without going into boring musings about John.
I have the internet back at my apartment. Yay! Too bad my computer is hella slow. I think it's time for an upgrade. Luckily, I have connections within the computer nerd world. ;) Adam just called me and apparently we're going shopping for parts tonight. Other than that, there's not much going on. I'm still working and doing nothing else. I sit at home and do nothing a lot. I'm not sleeping as much though, which is good considering I had started falling asleep around 8 every night.
Woo hoo. 11 days until my birthday. Ha ha.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
So, I will be having the internet installed at my apartment next Wednesday. *sigh* Why does it take so long? Stupid cable company. The cable guy had better be cute.
Speaking of cute guys, there's this new place called "Geek Squad" or something. I must go there for some reason. If you have a computer problem, let me go there and ask about it. My perception is that this is a whole building with nothing but geeky computer nerds. In other words, this is my Mecca. Come to me my computer nerds!!!
In other news, damn, is it cold! And now it's snowing. Ugh. Thank goodness I have a fridge full of beer, a freezer full of mozzerella sticks and a shelf full of new DVDs. Yes. I went shopping this weekend and bought about 5 times more movies than I did clothes. Grrr. I make myself mad sometimes.
Thursday, January 13, 2005
So, my first week as a worker in the "real world" is almost over. Yay me. It has been fun thus far. A lot of new information and reports. The people I work with are all very nice and they are all kind of wacked just like me. It works. Sometimes I can't believe I get paid to do the stuff I do. *sigh*
In other news...wait...there is no other news. I haven't been doing much after work. Just kind of bumming around my apartment. Doing some cleaning up and such. I need a freakin' hobby. Unfortunately, I have the feeling my hobby of choice would involve nakedness...
Thursday, January 6, 2005
This week has been very boring. I keep falling asleep on my futon, watching bad television. When did I lose all motivation to do, well, anything? Granted, the weather hasn't been especially conducive to accomplishing great things, but, geesh! I'm giving professional slackers a run for their money.
I suppose one of the things I could be doing instead of sitting in Radford right now is trying to find that damn Time Warner Cable office. I swear that thing doesn't exist. I have the address. I know where it SHOULD be. But either I'm blind or it's not there. I'd much rather go in and talk to them in person, but I get the feeling I'm going to have to resort to calling them pretty soon. If anyone knows where the place is, please let me know. I feel like a retard, not being able to locate it. Plus, I want the internet back in my house so I can do naked dances in front of the webcam. (kidding...)
I suppose I could insert a "Happy Two Year Anniversary" to my website here. Yup, it's been up here and providing, uhm, entertainment to the masses for two years now. Amazing how much crap one person can go through in two years, eh? Sometimes I go back and read the archives of this here diary thingy and just laugh. Especially when the entry is about John. Aah, what a fucked up relationship that is. *Sigh* Thing is, it will never change. It will always be seriously fucked up. And that's annoying. Argh. He actually did call me last night though. That was impressive. (I must note that he called to tell me he wasn't going to come over - which he had promised to do earlier this week - but hey, at least he called, right?) I told him I take what I can get. This prompted some slightly rude comment from him that shall not be repeated here. Fortunately, I knew he was (kinda) kidding. It's such a weird dynamic. Meh.
Enough of that. Where did that come from. Stupid subconscious connections.
Well I suppose I'll head home and put my chicken in the oven. Yay. I'm cooking this evening. I like cooking. And eating. Obviously. Man, I need to start working out. John started working out again apparently. He had me feel his arm. Mmmm.
Dammit.
Ok, I'm leaving now before this gets out of hand.
Monday, January 3, 2005
Today I started my last week at Presto. It's kind of sad in a way. I've been there for so long, it's going to be weird to be working somewhere else. But I think it will be fun. It's time for a change and all that. I'm starting to get my life all in the new order. I plan to get the internet in my house in the next week or so, so that will be nice. No cable tv though. Don't need that. I'm also investigating a new car. If anyone has suggestions as to what kind I should be looking for, feel free to let me know. I don't plan to actually buy one until about April, so I've got time to research (assuming my current car doesn't clunk out on me before then. Ack!) Sigh. So many things I could/should be doing right now. I just have no inspiration to do any of them. I'm getting a cold. I just want to go home and take a nap. Unfortunately, I've got my final BAP meeting. Ever. *Sob* I get to hand over the reins (ie, box of thank-you cards) to the next secretary. Woo. And then I can go home and take aforementioned nap. :) Bleh. That's all I've got without going into boring musings about John.
Sunday, December 05, 2004
December 2004
Monday, December 27, 2004
Man, this whole "no internet" thing really sucks. I think I'm going to have to call Time Warner and give in to their $50 a month for Road Runner thing. Argh. Well, I'm a college graduate now. Woo. I got this thing in the mail this morning that shows the horrible picture they snapped of me as I Was walking across the stage. I can buy many more of them if I so wish. Why would I do that? The one on that piece of paper is bad enough. Uck!
My Christmas was uneventful. I spent the whole day trying to figure out why there was nothing on tv. Granted, I only get two channels. But geesh! That and mourning my Vikings' horrible loss the day before. Grrr. It's pathetic that these two teams played basically the same football game twice this season. *Sigh* Oh well.
I have no plans for New Years as of yet. Don't really expect to get any either, but that's ok. I've been going to sleep at about 8 every night for the last week anyway. I'm such a loser. :)
Monday, December 13, 2004
Less than a week. I could start counting in hours now. But I won't. That would be lame. (hee hee)
Anyway, long weekend, long day. All I really want to do is go home and sleep. Unfortunately I still have 4 exams to take and a really messy house to clean. Grrrr. Stupid relatives.
Nothing much to report other than I got a job. Yes. I will actually grauate employed. So, that being said, it's perfectly understandable why I got completely trashed on Saturday night. Woo.
And it's a job I actually want. Go me!
Really, that's all I've got to say. Life has been pathetically boring. But I do get to go do the drug testing thing tomorrow. Yay!
Sunday, December 5, 2004
Well folks, we're down to the two week mark. Yes, that's right. Two weeks from today I will be a college graduate. Woo. I still lack total enthusiasm because I have no job. Hopefully by the end of the week I will, but that seems too optimistic for me. *sigh* That's about all I have to say. I just wanted to change this page over for the new month. :)
Man, this whole "no internet" thing really sucks. I think I'm going to have to call Time Warner and give in to their $50 a month for Road Runner thing. Argh. Well, I'm a college graduate now. Woo. I got this thing in the mail this morning that shows the horrible picture they snapped of me as I Was walking across the stage. I can buy many more of them if I so wish. Why would I do that? The one on that piece of paper is bad enough. Uck!
My Christmas was uneventful. I spent the whole day trying to figure out why there was nothing on tv. Granted, I only get two channels. But geesh! That and mourning my Vikings' horrible loss the day before. Grrr. It's pathetic that these two teams played basically the same football game twice this season. *Sigh* Oh well.
I have no plans for New Years as of yet. Don't really expect to get any either, but that's ok. I've been going to sleep at about 8 every night for the last week anyway. I'm such a loser. :)
Monday, December 13, 2004
Less than a week. I could start counting in hours now. But I won't. That would be lame. (hee hee)
Anyway, long weekend, long day. All I really want to do is go home and sleep. Unfortunately I still have 4 exams to take and a really messy house to clean. Grrrr. Stupid relatives.
Nothing much to report other than I got a job. Yes. I will actually grauate employed. So, that being said, it's perfectly understandable why I got completely trashed on Saturday night. Woo.
And it's a job I actually want. Go me!
Really, that's all I've got to say. Life has been pathetically boring. But I do get to go do the drug testing thing tomorrow. Yay!
Sunday, December 5, 2004
Well folks, we're down to the two week mark. Yes, that's right. Two weeks from today I will be a college graduate. Woo. I still lack total enthusiasm because I have no job. Hopefully by the end of the week I will, but that seems too optimistic for me. *sigh* That's about all I have to say. I just wanted to change this page over for the new month. :)
Friday, November 05, 2004
November 2004
Monday, November 29, 2004
Added more pictures to the photo album of me with my hacked off hair. It's still doing weird things, but oh well. We're under a month now. Yes. I graduate. At 9:30 at Kolf. Come support me. Come bomb the building. Come do whatever you want. Or not. It's up to you.
I actually considered writing some kind of reply to the phone conversation that was had last night with my brother. Then I remembered I really don't care. I'm a supporter of the isolationist plan. Stay out of my life and I'll stay out of yours. :)
Have another interview lined up for Wednesday. Considering this is actually a job I want at a company I wouldn't mind working for, wish me luck :) Damn I need to get me a job. Although George told me today that I can stay at Presto through the end of this semester (which is actually in late January) and if I still haven't got a job, they will hire me on as a Presto temp for a bit. He really doesn't want to lose me :) It's rough being so important.
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Good God. I have such a headache. I'm going to go home and take a nap. Right after I'm done staring at this computer screen for a little longer. I don't really have too much to say, but I figured it has been some time since I last wrote anything here. Been busy. Been lazy. What have you.
There is a relatively large spider crawling on the wall next to me. Eww. Good to see they clean these computer labs...
Still no job. Still working on that. That's about all I've got to say about that. Feeling crappy. Going home before the spider decides to attack me. (*Ack*)
Friday, November 12, 2004
Dammit. What is is about this day? All day at work I could have sworn it was the 13th. Now I just typed "11" instead of "12." Do I have some kind of bad karma with the number 12 or something? Creepy. Yeah, this whole day was pretty much one stupid/embarassing/pointless/painful thing after another. It was a Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong day. Paper cuts, tripping over shit, dropping shit. It all happened. Many times.
Oh yeah, and my graduation clock was wrong (thanks Catherine.) It was counting down the days to December 12th. I graduate on the 18th. Don't ask me. I don't know how that happened. But it's fixed now. 36. Ugh.
Still no job. Got a random e-mail from some company I've never heard of asking me to apply. Ok then. That's weird. But their company website screams (and I do mean SCREAMS) FrontPage and they specialize in computer consulting services? *Sigh* I think not. Some people's children.
I'm kinda putzing here on campus. Once I go home, I know damn well all I'm going to do is eat, drink, and do nothing of any use. I need to get as much production out of me while I can. I've done my QBA homework (yay me!) and I hope to perhaps maybe send out a few resumes while I'm here. (Ha!) I'm so sick of trying to find a job. I don't have one yet. Maybe that's why.
Martha's Wish List:
1) A mixer so I can bake cookies. Yum.2) A slave. Ahem, I mean boyfriend.3) A job.
Yes, so there it is. My impressive wish list. I must be hungry. I do plan on cooking some stuff tonight. Maybe I'll go rent a movie. Nothing really good out though. Why waste the money? I don't know what I'll do. Call me. We'll hook up for some good times. Muahahahahahahaha.
Saturday, November 6, 2004
What is it with me and guys with kids? I do not like kids. I do not want to have kids. Ever. I do not want to be with a guy who has kids. Ever. Why can't I find a decent guy who can keep his wee wee in his pants dammit! Or at least keep it from impregnating someone. Argh.
So, here is sit on campus doing homework on a Saturday night. How sad. I'm so depressed. I bought my suit today so I'll look nice and ridiculous for my interview on Monday. Man, I hate interviews. Necessary to make a living though.
I have a headache. I'm hungry. I think I'll go home now.
Monday, November 1, 2004
Yes. That's right. No-fucking-vember. Where did the time go? Why don't I have a job yet? **loud screaming inside my head**
Ok, now with THAT out of the way...
Not really too much to say right now. I've been drifting on the boat in lah lah land again. I need to quit doing that. It doesn't accomplish anything. And I need to quit randomly making out with guys. But I digress. Haven't done that for a little while, although not by my choice. By my body's choice, if you catch my drift. ;) Ahem. Anyway. TMI, I know. I'm babbling. This is because I'm tired. I have been drinking too much Mountain Dew right before bed lately. This is bad both because of the caffeine content of said beverage, but also because I have to get up ten million times to pee during the night. And then my toilet won't stop running and it pisses me off at 3 am. Yeah. It's a good life. That stupid thing is really ticking me off lately.
Geesh, I have ADD tonight or something. I think my game plan is to go home and sleep. Screw this homework and studying shit. Of course, if some guy happens to show up...muahahahahaha. Not too likely, but it's a nice thought. After those, well, MONTHS of who knows what, this is the other extreme of hormonal imbalance. But that's ok. Live it up or whatever.
Added more pictures to the photo album of me with my hacked off hair. It's still doing weird things, but oh well. We're under a month now. Yes. I graduate. At 9:30 at Kolf. Come support me. Come bomb the building. Come do whatever you want. Or not. It's up to you.
I actually considered writing some kind of reply to the phone conversation that was had last night with my brother. Then I remembered I really don't care. I'm a supporter of the isolationist plan. Stay out of my life and I'll stay out of yours. :)
Have another interview lined up for Wednesday. Considering this is actually a job I want at a company I wouldn't mind working for, wish me luck :) Damn I need to get me a job. Although George told me today that I can stay at Presto through the end of this semester (which is actually in late January) and if I still haven't got a job, they will hire me on as a Presto temp for a bit. He really doesn't want to lose me :) It's rough being so important.
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
Good God. I have such a headache. I'm going to go home and take a nap. Right after I'm done staring at this computer screen for a little longer. I don't really have too much to say, but I figured it has been some time since I last wrote anything here. Been busy. Been lazy. What have you.
There is a relatively large spider crawling on the wall next to me. Eww. Good to see they clean these computer labs...
Still no job. Still working on that. That's about all I've got to say about that. Feeling crappy. Going home before the spider decides to attack me. (*Ack*)
Friday, November 12, 2004
Dammit. What is is about this day? All day at work I could have sworn it was the 13th. Now I just typed "11" instead of "12." Do I have some kind of bad karma with the number 12 or something? Creepy. Yeah, this whole day was pretty much one stupid/embarassing/pointless/painful thing after another. It was a Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong day. Paper cuts, tripping over shit, dropping shit. It all happened. Many times.
Oh yeah, and my graduation clock was wrong (thanks Catherine.) It was counting down the days to December 12th. I graduate on the 18th. Don't ask me. I don't know how that happened. But it's fixed now. 36. Ugh.
Still no job. Got a random e-mail from some company I've never heard of asking me to apply. Ok then. That's weird. But their company website screams (and I do mean SCREAMS) FrontPage and they specialize in computer consulting services? *Sigh* I think not. Some people's children.
I'm kinda putzing here on campus. Once I go home, I know damn well all I'm going to do is eat, drink, and do nothing of any use. I need to get as much production out of me while I can. I've done my QBA homework (yay me!) and I hope to perhaps maybe send out a few resumes while I'm here. (Ha!) I'm so sick of trying to find a job. I don't have one yet. Maybe that's why.
Martha's Wish List:
1) A mixer so I can bake cookies. Yum.2) A slave. Ahem, I mean boyfriend.3) A job.
Yes, so there it is. My impressive wish list. I must be hungry. I do plan on cooking some stuff tonight. Maybe I'll go rent a movie. Nothing really good out though. Why waste the money? I don't know what I'll do. Call me. We'll hook up for some good times. Muahahahahahahaha.
Saturday, November 6, 2004
What is it with me and guys with kids? I do not like kids. I do not want to have kids. Ever. I do not want to be with a guy who has kids. Ever. Why can't I find a decent guy who can keep his wee wee in his pants dammit! Or at least keep it from impregnating someone. Argh.
So, here is sit on campus doing homework on a Saturday night. How sad. I'm so depressed. I bought my suit today so I'll look nice and ridiculous for my interview on Monday. Man, I hate interviews. Necessary to make a living though.
I have a headache. I'm hungry. I think I'll go home now.
Monday, November 1, 2004
Yes. That's right. No-fucking-vember. Where did the time go? Why don't I have a job yet? **loud screaming inside my head**
Ok, now with THAT out of the way...
Not really too much to say right now. I've been drifting on the boat in lah lah land again. I need to quit doing that. It doesn't accomplish anything. And I need to quit randomly making out with guys. But I digress. Haven't done that for a little while, although not by my choice. By my body's choice, if you catch my drift. ;) Ahem. Anyway. TMI, I know. I'm babbling. This is because I'm tired. I have been drinking too much Mountain Dew right before bed lately. This is bad both because of the caffeine content of said beverage, but also because I have to get up ten million times to pee during the night. And then my toilet won't stop running and it pisses me off at 3 am. Yeah. It's a good life. That stupid thing is really ticking me off lately.
Geesh, I have ADD tonight or something. I think my game plan is to go home and sleep. Screw this homework and studying shit. Of course, if some guy happens to show up...muahahahahaha. Not too likely, but it's a nice thought. After those, well, MONTHS of who knows what, this is the other extreme of hormonal imbalance. But that's ok. Live it up or whatever.
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